Anyone having "ID ten T" errors on your computers? Jul 29, 2008 9:26 pm 1085 Views I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Richard, the 11 year old next door whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to come over. Richard clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong? He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.' I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, 'An, ID ten T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again.' Richard grinned.... 'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?' 'No,' I replied. 'Write it down,' he said, 'and I think you'll figure > it out.' > So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T ... I used to like the little shit............. 2 Comments

Which would you choose??? Jul 26, 2008 4:58 pm 1158 Views You are driving down the road in your Corvette on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus: 1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die. 2. An old friend who once saved your life. 3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about. Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your Corvette? Think before you continue reading This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application. You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first. Or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again. YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS....... The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. He simply answered: 'I would give the car keys to my old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams.' Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations. Never forget to 'Think Outside of the Box.' HOWEVER....... The correct answer is to run the old lady over and put her out of her misery, have sex with the perfect partner on the hood of the car, then drive off with the old friend for a few beers. 7 Comments

Gas the Scent Disguiser Jul 26, 2008 4:06 pm 983 Views A little girl asked her Mom, "Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?" Mom replies, "No, because she is in heat." "What's that mean?" asked the child. "Go ask your father. I think he's in the garage." The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, may I take Chi Chi for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you." Dad said, "Bring Chi Chi over here." He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it to disguise the scent, and said "OK, you can go now, but keep Chi Chi on the leash and only go one time round the block." The little girl left and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash. Surprised, Dad asked, "Where 's Chi Chi?" The little girl said, "She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home." 1 comment

The ABC's of Aging... Jul 25, 2008 2:11 am 1157 Views A's for arthritis; B's the bad back, C's the chest pains, perhaps car-d-iac? D is for dental decay and decline, E is for eyesight, can't read that top line! F is for fissures and fluid retention, G is for gas which I'd rather not mention. H is high blood pressure--I'd rather it low; I is for incisions with scars you can show. J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend, K is for knees that crack when they bend. L is for libido, what happened to sex? M is for memory, I forget what comes next. N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low; O is for osteo, the bones that don't grow! P is for prescriptions, I have quite a few, just give me a pill and I'll be good as new! Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu? R is for reflux, one meal turns to two. S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears, T is for Tinnitus; there's bells in my ears! U is for urinary; big troubles with flow; V is for vertigo, that's "dizzy," you know. W is for worry, NOW what's going 'round? X is for X ray, and what might be found. Y is another year I'm left here behind, Z is for zest that I still have-- in my mind. I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed, And I am keeping twenty-six doctors fully employed Report this for abuse 6 Comments

NO SPEAKAH DE ENGLISH Jul 23, 2008 1:08 pm 1559 Views A bus stops and 2 men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following: Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more! Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time.' The lady can't take this any more, 'You foul-mouthed sex obsessed pig,' She retorted indignantly. In this country, we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives.' Hey, coola down lady,' said the man. 'Who talkin'abouta sex? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell ' Mississippi '.' $5.00 says you're gonna read this again 10 Comments

A joke for Adults Kids....... Jul 22, 2008 5:26 pm 1662 Views Sister Catherine was asking all the Catholic school children in fourth grade what they want to be when they grow up. Little Sheila said, "When I grow up, I want to be a prostitute!" Sister Catherine's eyes grow wide and she barked, "What did you say?!" "A prostitute!" Sheila exclaimed. Sister Catherine breathed a sight of relief and said "Whew! Thank God! I thought you said 'A Protestant'!" (unknown source) 7 Comments

AN ALERT FOR ALL MEN WHO SHOP AT HOME DEPOT Jun 22, 2008 2:36 am 1475 Views A "heads up" for those men who may be regular Home Depot customers....... Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Here's how the scam works: Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends. Two seriously good-looking 20-21 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the trunk. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex , with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say "No" and instead ask you for a ride to another Home Depot. You agree and they get in the backseat. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet. I had my wallet stolen March 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, & 24th 29th. Also May 1st, 4th, twice on the 8th, 16th, 23rd, and three times last Saturday and very likely again this upcoming weekend. So tell your friends to be careful. 7 Comments

It could saved your life-(It's not a joke) Jun 22, 2008 2:19 am 1062 Views I just wanted to inform you this is not a joke..I'm probably saving your life by sharing this with you Know what money you are carrying. You will see why as you read. Be sure every woman is aware of this M.O. Share it with your wife and daughters. Know what money you are carrying... This was the first I have heard of a scheme like this..... I wanted to pass it along. Be safe! Something very serious to pay attention to. Criminals are coming up with craftier, less threatening methods of attack, so we have to be extra cautious Read on.. I live in Alexandria , VA , but I often work in Lafayette , LA , staying with friends when I'm there. As you know from America 's Most Wanted TV program, as well as the news media, there is a serial killer in the Lafayette area. I just want to let you know about an 'incident' that happened to me a few weeks ago, and could have been deadly. At first I didn't go to the police or anyone with it because I didn't realize how serious this encounter was. But since I work in a jail and I told a few people about it, it wasn't long before I was paraded into Internal Affairs to tell them my story. It was approximately 5:15 a.m. in Opelousas , La. I had stayed with a friend there and was on my way to work. I stopped at the Exxon /Blimpie Pie station to get gas. I got $10 gas and a Diet Coke . I took into the store two $5 bills and one $1 bill (just enough to get my stuff). As I pulled away from the store, a man approached my truck from the back side of the store (an unlit area).. He was an 'approachable-looking' man (clean cut, clean shaven, dressed well, etc.). He walked up to my window and knocked. Since I'm very paranoid and 'always looking for the rapist or killer,' I didn't open the window. I just asked what he wanted. He raised a $5 bill to my window and said, 'You dropped this.' Since I knew I had gone into the store with a certain amount of money, I knew I didn't drop it. When I told him it wasn't mine, he began hitting the window and door, screaming at me to open my door, and insisting that I had dropped the money! At that point, I just drove away as fast as I could. Afte r talking to the Internal Affairs Department and describing the man I saw, and the way he escalated from calm and polite to angry and volatile...it was determined that I could have possibly encountered the serial killer myself. Up to this point, it had been unclear as to how he had gained access to his victims, since there has been no evidence of forced entry into victim's homes, cars, etc. And the fact that he has been attacking in the daytime, when women are less likely to have their guard up, means he is pretty BOLD. So think about it...what gesture is nicer than returning money to someone that dropped it????? How many times would you have opened your window (or door) to get your money and say thank you.... Because if the person is kind enough to return something to you, then he can't really be a threat....can he???? Please be cautious! This might not have been the serial killer... But anyone that gets that angry over someone not accepting money from them can't have honorable intentions. The most important thing to note is that his reaction was NOT WHAT I EXPECTED! A total surprise! But what might have happened if I had opened my door? I shudder to think! P.S. Ladies, really DO forward this to EVERYONE you know Even if this man wasn't a serial killer, he looked nice, he seemed polite, he was apparently doing an act of kindness, but HE WAS NOT A NICE PERSON!!! Men, send it to all the women in your life. What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it. Make it a good one! Please forward to anyone you think might benefit from this story. 0 Comments

To all DADS!!! Jun 15, 2008 1:38 am 1377 Views Letters between son and dad Dear Dad, $chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you. Love, Your $on The Reply: Dear Son, I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh. Dad HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!! 7 Comments

"ESTROGEN ISSUES" part 2 May 25, 2008 1:46 pm 1280 Views 10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES" 1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem. 2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet. 3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans. 4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say. 5. You 're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving-call 1- 800-". 6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice. 7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space." 9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy. 10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday 1 comment

 ren1957

52 F