I'm The Boss Sep 21, 2005 11:12 pm Mood: crazy, 1594 Views My boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read, "I'm the Boss". He then taped it to his office door. Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said, "Your wife called. She wants her sign back!" 2 Comments

bikernut Sep 21, 2005 11:01 pm Mood: cheerful, 1435 Views There were two guys on a motercycle driving down the road. The driver was wearing a leather jacket that didn't have a zipper or any buttons. Finally he stopped the bike and told the other guy,"I can't drive anymore with the air hitting me in my chest." After thinking for a while he decided to put the coat on backwards to block the air from hitting him. So they were driving down the road and they came around this curb and wrecked. The farmer that lived there called the police and told them what happened. The police asked him,"are either of them showing any life signs?" The farmer then said, "well, that first one was 'til I turned his head around the right way." 0 Comments

The frog story Sep 21, 2005 2:47 pm Mood: beautiful, 1486 Views In two days tomorrow will be yesterday. Today is no special day and I have no particular reason for writing to you... I have no news to tell you.... nor any problems to discuss with you.... or gossip to tell you... It's only one of those happy moments... when I thought of you... and I would like to share these thoughts with you... MANY SMILES BEGIN BECAUSE OF ANOTHER SMILE...Keep scrolling, and if you don't smile, then I believe you must be dead!!! Always have good self esteem... Take care of your friends, especially those dearest to you... Take care of your body... But most of all find time to relax... Big Hug from your friend... To The World You Might Be One Person; But To One Person You Might Be the World You have been Tagged by the Froggy, which means you are a great friend!! You will Have Good Luck For Two Years if you send this to at least 4 people. 1 comment

Don't Look At The Circumstances Sep 21, 2005 1:02 pm 1399 Views Matthew 14:29-31. (NKJV) 29. So He said, "Come." And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus. 30. But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, saying, "Lord, save me!" 31. And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?" As long as Peter kept his eyes on Jesus, he was able to walk on the water. Peter did not begin to sink until he began to look at his circumstances. Looking at your circumstances will always sap you of your faith. Looking at the way things look opens the door to fear --- and when fear comes in, faith goes out! Because of fear, Peter did not finish the impossible task he had set out doing --- to walk on the water to meet Jesus --- even though he had already begun doing the impossible. Just like with Peter, fear will keep you from being able to "go the distance" in the things of God. But if you keep your eyes on Jesus, who is the Word of God, you will walk on the water in your life. After all, if Peter walked on water with little faith, then how much more can you expect to do when you purpose in your heart to have strong faith? 0 Comments

Work Virus Sep 21, 2005 11:29 am Mood: cheerful, 1401 Views There is a new virus. The code name is WORK. If you receive WORK from your colleagues, your boss, via e-mail, or from anyone else, do not touch it under any circumstances. This virus wipes out your private life completely. If you should happen to come in contact with this virus, take five friends and go straight to the nearest bar. Order drinks immediately and after three rounds, you will find that WORK has been completely deleted from your system. Forward this virus warning immediately to at least five friends. Should you realize you do not have five friends, this means you are already infected by this virus and WORK already controls your life. If this is the case, go to the bar and stay until you make at least five friends. I think I have five friends, but am not entirely positive so I'm headed for the bar anyway.....it never hurts to be safe. 1 comment

WHEN GIRLS DRINK TOO MUCH: Sep 19, 2005 7:27 pm Mood: happy, 1447 Views 1. I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE MY PURSE IS. 2. I BELIEVE THAT DANCING WITH MY ARMS OVERHEAD AND WIGGLING MY BUTT WHILE YELLING "WOO-HOO!" IS TRULY THE SEXIEST DANCE MOVE AROUND? 3. I'VE SUDDENLY DECIDED I WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S ASS AND HONESTLY BELIEVE I COULD DO IT TOO. 4. IN MY LAST TRIP TO PEE, I REALIZE I NOW LOOK MORE LIKE A HOMELESS HOOKER THAN THE GODDESS I WAS JUST FOUR HOURS AGO. 5. I DROP MY 3:00 A.M. SUBMARINE SANDWICH ON THE FLOOR (WHICH I'M EATING EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT THE LEAST BIT HUNGRY), PICK IT UP AND CARRY ON EATING IT. 6. I START CRYING AND TELLING EVERYONE I SEE THAT I LOVE THEM SOOOOO MUCH. 7. I GET EXTREMELY EXCITED AND JUMP UP AND DOWN EVERY TIME A NEW SONG PLAYS BECAUSE "OH MY GOD! I LOVE THIS SONG!" 8. I'VE FOUND A DEEPER/SPIRITUAL SIDE TO THE GEEK SITTING NEXT TO ME. 9. THE MAN I'M FLIRTING WITH USED TO BE MY 5TH GRADE TEACHER. 10. THE URGE TO TAKE OFF ARTICLES OF CLOTHING, STAND ON A TABLE AND SING OR DANCE BECOMES STRANGELY OVERWHELMING. 11. MY EYES JUST DON'T SEEM TO WANT TO STAY OPEN ON THEIR OWN SO I KEEP THEM HALF CLOSED AND THINK IT LOOKS EXOTICALLY SEXY. 12. I'VE SUDDENLY TAKEN UP SMOKING AND BECOME REALLY GOOD AT IT. 13. I YELL AT THE BARTENDER, WHO (I THINK) CHEATED ME BY GIVING ME JUST LEMONADE, BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE I CAN NO LONGER TASTE THE GIN. 14. I THINK I'M IN BED, BUT MY PILLOW FEELS STRANGELY LIKE THE KITCHEN FLOOR 15. I START EVERY CONVERSATION WITH A BOOMING, "DON'T TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY BUT..." 16. I FAIL TO NOTICE THAT THE TOILET LID'S DOWN WHEN I SIT ON IT. 17. MY HUGS BEGIN TO RESEMBLE WRESTLING TAKE-DOWN MOVES. 18. I'M TIRED SO I JUST SIT ON THE FLOOR (WHEREVER I HAPPEN TO BE STANDING) AND TAKE A QUICK NAP. 19. I BEGIN LEAVING THE BUTTONS OPEN ON MY BUTTON FLY PANTS TO CUTDOWN ON THE TIME I'M IN THE BATHROOM AWAY FROM MY DRINK. 20. I TAKE MY SHOES OFF BECAUSE I BELIEVE IT'S THEIR FAULT THAT I'M HAVING PROBLEMS WALKING STRAIGHT. SEND THIS ALONG TO ALL THE GIRLS YOU KNOW WHO LIKE TO HAVE FUN. MAKE THEM LAUGH AT THEMSELVES LIKE YOU PROBABLY DID... SADLY, MANY ARE TRUE. LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE OF IT...KIND OF LIKE PLAYDOUGH 0 Comments

good one!!! LMAO!!!! Sep 19, 2005 7:15 pm Mood: cheerful, 1492 Views One day, a young cowboy and a cowgirl decided to get married. He was a man of the world and she was an innocent bride with no experience. On the first night of their honeymoon the couple washed up and started to get ready for bed. When they get into bed, they start exploring each other's bodies. Things are going fine until the bride discovers her husband's penis. "Oh my", she says, "What is that?" "Well, darlin", the cowboy says, "That's ma rope". She slides her hands further down and gasps. "Oh my goodness. What's them?" she asks "Honey, them's my knots", he answers. Finally, the couple begin to make love. After several minutes, the bride says, "Stop honey. Wait a minute". Her husband, panting a little, asks, "What's the matter honey? Am I hurting you?" "No", the bride replies. "Just undo them darn knots. I need more rope!" 2 Comments

Too Busy for a Friend... Sep 19, 2005 1:46 pm Mood: beautiful, 1349 Views Got me all choked up. Just a thought for the week. Too Busy for a Friend... One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name. Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down. It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers. That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual. On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. "Really?" she heard whispered. "I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!" and, "I didn't know others liked me so much," were most of the comments. No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on. Several years later, one of the students was killed in Viet Nam and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student. She had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. He looked so handsome, so mature. The church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin. As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to her. "Were you Mark's math teacher?" he asked. She nodded: "yes." Then he said: "Mark talked about you a lot." After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates went together to a luncheon. Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher. "We want to show you something," his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket. "They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it." Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him. "Thank you so much for doing that," Mark's mother said. "As you can see, Mark treasured it." All of Mark's former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, "I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home." Chuck's wife said, "Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album." "I have mine too," Marilyn said. "It's in my diary." Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. "I carry this with me at all times," Vicki said and without batting an eyelash, she continued: "I think we all saved our lists." That's when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again. The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day. And we don't know when that one day will be. So please, tell the people you love and care for, that they are special and important. Tell them, before it is too late. And One Way To Accomplish This Is: Forward this message on. If you do not send it, you will have, once again passed up the wonderful opportunity to do something nice and beautiful. If you've received this, it is because someone cares for you and it means there is probably at least someone for whom you care. If you're "too busy" to take those few minutes right now to forward this message on, would this be the VERY first time you didn't do that little thing that would make a difference in your relationships? The more people that you send this to, the better you'll be at reaching out to those you care about. Remember, you reap what you sow. What you put into the lives of others comes back into your own. May Your Day Be Blessed As Special As You Are 0 Comments

HAPPY BUDDIES DAY!!! Sep 18, 2005 11:26 pm Mood: cheerful, 1712 Views Forward to all your friends, including me. And don't tell me you're too busy for this. Don't you know the phrase "stop and smell the flowers"? See how many "bouquets" you end up with! Happiness keeps You Sweet, Trials keep You Strong, Sorrows keep You Human, Failures keep You Humble, Success keeps You Glowing, But Only God keeps You Going! You are so special! Today is " online buddy day " . Send this to your online friends - even me, if I'm one of them - and see how many you get today 0 Comments

HELLO Beautiful!! Sep 18, 2005 11:22 pm Mood: beautiful, 1309 Views Did you know that it's Beautiful Women Month? Well, it is and that means you. I'm supposed to send this to FIVE BEAUTIFUL WOMEN, and you are one of them!!! Facts on Figures: There are 3 billion women who don't look like super models and only eight who do. Did you know Marilyn Monroe wore a size 14? If Barbie was a real woman, she'd have to walk on all FOURS due to her proportions! The average woman weighs 144 pounds, and wears between a size 12-14. One out of every 4 college-aged women has an eating disorder. The Models in the magazines are AIRBRUSHED!!! - NOT Perfect!! A psychological study in 1995 found that 3 minutes spent looking at a Fashion Magazine caused 70% of women to feel depressed, guilty and SHAMEFUL! Models 20 years ago weighed 8% Less than the average Woman. Today they weigh 23% less...... ~~ Beauty of a Woman ~~ The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, The figure she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen from her eyes, Because that is the doorway to her heart, The place where love resides. The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, But true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, The passion that she shows. The beauty of a woman With time, only grows.. An English professor wrote the words: "WOMAN WITHOUT HER MAN IS NOTHING" on the blackboard, and directed the students to punctuate it correctly The men wrote: "Woman, WITHOUT HER MAN, is nothing." The women wrote: "WOMAN!! WITHOUT HER, man is nothing!" The Images of Mother 4YEARS OF AGE Y My Mommy can do anything! 8 YEARS OF AGE Y My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot! 12 YEARS OF AGE Y My Mother doesn't really know quite everything. 14 YEARS OF AGE Y Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either! 16 YEARS OF AGE Y Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned. 18 YEARS OF AGE Y That old woman? She's way out of date! 25 YEARS OF AGE Y Well, she might know a little bit about it. 35 YEARS OF AGE Y Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion. 45 YEARS OF AGE Y Wonder what Mom would have thought about it? 65 YEARS OF AGE Y Wish I could talk it over with Mom. . . ***Please send this to all the phenomenal women you know today in celebration of Women's History Month. If you do, something good will happen.... YOU will boost another woman's self-esteem 0 Comments

 ren1957

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