Mistaken Identity Oct 2, 2005 6:28 pm Mood: calm, 1576 Views A guy is in line at the supermarket when he notices that a rather dishy blonde behind him has just raised her hand and smiled hello to him. He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and although familiar he can't place where he might know her from, so he says "Sorry, do you know me?" She replies, "I may be mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of m! y children." His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful. "Holy crap," he says, "Are you that stripper from my bachelor party that I screwed on the pool table in front of all my friends while your girlfriend whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my ass?" "No," she replies, "I'm your son's English teacher." 0 Comments

Lipsticks with lead Oct 2, 2005 6:26 pm Mood: calm, 1569 Views This is very interesting.............................. Even lipstick isn't safe anymore... what's next? Brands don't mean everything. Recently a brand called "Red Earth" decreased their prices from $67 to $9.90. It contained lead. Lead is a chemical which causes cancer. The Brands which contain lead are: I. CHRISTIAN DIOR 2. LANCOME 3. CLINIQUE 4. Y. S. L 5. ESTEE LAUDER 6. SHISEIDO 7. RED EARTH (! Lip Gloss) 8. CHANEL (Lip Conditioner) 9. MARKET AMERICA-MOTNES LIPSTICK. The higher the lead content, the greater the chance of causing cancer. After doing a test on lipsticks, it was found that the Y. S. L. lipstick contained the most amount of lead. Watch out for those lipsticks which are supposed to stay longer. If your lipstick stays longer, it is because of the higher content of lead. Here is the test you can do yourself: 1. Put some lipstick on your hand. 2. Use a Gold ring to scratch on the lipstick. 3. If the lipstick color changes to black then you know the lipstick contains lead. Please send this information to all your girlfriends, wives and female family members. This information is being circulated at Walter Reed Army Medical Center 0 Comments

A Wild Friday Night at My House Sep 29, 2005 1:10 pm Mood: cheerful, 1597 Views HOW TRUE IT IS Another year has passed and we're all a little older. Last summer felt hotter and winter seems much colder. I rack my brain for happy thoughts, to put down on my pad, But lots of things that come to mind just make me kind of sad. There was a time not long ago when life was quite a blast. Now I fully understand about "Living in the Past". We used to go to friends homes, football games and lunches. Now we go to therapy, to hospitals, and after-funeral brunches. We used to have hangovers, from parties that were gay. Now we suffer body aches and sleep the night away. We used to go out dining, and couldn't get our fill. Now we ask for doggie bags, come home and take a pill. We used to often travel to places near and far. Now we get backaches from riding in the car. We used to go out shopping for new clothing at the Mall But, now we never bother... all the sizes are too small. That, my friend is how life is, and now my tale is told. So, enjoy each day and live it up... before you're too darn old!! 0 Comments

Dear God, Sep 28, 2005 9:36 pm Mood: calm, 1700 Views Dear God, I'm writing to say I'm sorry For being angry yesterday When you seemed to ignore my prayer And things didn't go my way First, my car broke down ; I was very late for work But I missed that awful accident Was that your handiwork? I found a house I loved But others got there first I was angry, then relieved When I heard the pipes had burst! Yesterday, I found the perfect dress But the color was too pale Today, I found the dress in red Would you believe, it was on sale! I know you're watching over me And I'm feeling truly blessed For no matter what I pray for You always know what's best! I have this circle of E-mail friends, Who mean the world to me; Some days I "send" and "send", At other times, I let them be. When I see each name download, And view the message they've sent; I know they've thought of me that day, And "well wishes" were their intent. I am so blessed to have these friends, With whom I've grown so close; So this little poem I dedicate to them, Because to me they are the "Most"! So to you, my friends, I would like to say, Thank you for being a part; Of all my daily contacts, This comes right from my heart. God bless you all is my prayer today, I'm honored to call you "friend"; I pray the Lord will keep you safe, Until we write again. God Bless You 1 comment

Why Worry??? Sep 25, 2005 3:21 pm Mood: cheerful, 1610 Views Why worry about tomorrow, And the rising of the sun. Or anguish over past mistakes, That cannot be undone? Why waste life's precious moments, On things that bruise the heart; When today is ours to fashion, Into a work of art? Today comes but once, my friend, It never returns. So use it wisely while you can. There is a lesson you may learn. Let history, record the past, And tomorrow come what may. Be content to do your best. With what you have today! 0 Comments

Another Blonde Joke Sep 25, 2005 3:18 pm Mood: cheerful, 1557 Views >I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow >me to take a leave. I thought that maybe if I acted "CRAZY" then he would >tell me to take a few days off. So I hung upside down on the ceiling and >made funny noises. >My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing? > >I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would >think I was "CRAZY" and give me a few days off. > >A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked "What are you >doing ?" > >I told him I was a light bulb. > >He said "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple >of days". > >I jumped down and walked out of the office. When my co-worker (the blonde) >followed me, the Boss asked her " .And where do you think you're going?" > > >Are you ready????..................................................... > > > > >Think you know the >answer?..................................................... > > > > >You're gonna love >this............................................................. >She said, "I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark!" 0 Comments

Computer cable disaster Sep 24, 2005 3:59 pm Mood: cheerful, 1582 Views Computer cable disaster by Bruce Wadd Every time I have a need to get down on the floor and start fiddling with the cables at the back of my computer, I get ‘freaked’. There seem to be so many cords, all tangled together, but still my computer operates well - the sound, vision, keyboard, mouse, printer and internet - all function as expected. Where’s the disaster, you say? Have you ever tried to quickly unravel the chaos of chords? I sometimes find it amazing that this world continues to survive with the chaotic chatter, particularly at this time, of war, power, wealth, famine, disaster, drought etc. Surely we need to praise God for each day! My challenge to you, today, is to truly appreciate, through the chaos, the miracle of life in Him! Here is the prayer of Jabez to lift your day! “Oh that you would wonderfully bless me and help me in my work; please be with me in all that I do, and keep me from all evil and disaster.” I Chronicles 4:10 0 Comments

Where's Mom and Dad? Sep 23, 2005 12:37 am Mood: cheerful, 1640 Views A little boy came down for breakfast one morning and asked his grandma, "Where's Mom and Dad?" And she replied, "They're up in bed." The little boy started to giggle and ate his breakfast and went out to play. Then he came back in for lunch and asked his grandma, "Where's Mom and Dad?" And she replied, "They're still up in bed." Again the little boy started to giggle and he ate his lunch and went out to play. Then the little boy came in for dinner and once again he asked his grandma, "Where's Mom and Dad?" And his grandmother replied, "They're still up in bed." The little boy started to laugh and his grandmother asked, "What gives? Every time I tell you they're still up in bed you start to laugh! What is going on here?" The little boy replied, "Well, last night Daddy came into my bedroom and asked me for the Vaseline and I gave him super glue!" 1 comment

blonde joke II Sep 21, 2005 11:31 pm Mood: cheerful, 1633 Views A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?" The agent replies, "Just a minute..." "Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up. 0 Comments

blonde joke Sep 21, 2005 11:25 pm Mood: cheerful, 1607 Views A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you." 1 comment

 ren1957

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