I have renamed my blog as PILLS.This is because ' PILLS ' or the medication that i have been taking have a ' central role ' to play in my life.They 'control ' my behaviour and they decide my happiness / success / failure in love / relation / job almost every aspect of life.I can also lead a normal life if my medication works effectively which can otherwise be a hell for sure.I have reconciled to the fact that my life is 'Uncertain' as there is no firm cure for my illness and it is not always necessary that the medication works effectively and the disorder resurfaces.
The choice of my id 'Brainteaser' is in itself in relation to my illness and disorder.
Lately i have chosen to open up share my innermost secrets.
I am lucky to have such people here with whom i am sharing the darkest secrets of my life.I hope they will understand and if possible avoid ignoring me.
I had written a blog about Absolute QT with noble intentions but seems something went wrong with the blog.Threfore i was compelled to delete it as the person for whom it was written didn't like the way things were going with the blog.
I am always against censorship of blogs as it kills the very purpose of a blog and therefore i apologize to all the members espacially Paradanol , Owen etc who had commented on the blog and whose commets got deleted by my momentary reaction.
I have renamed my blog as PILLS.This is because ' PILLS ' or the medication that i have been taking have a ' central role ' to play in my life.They 'control ' my behaviour and they decide my happiness / success / failure in love / relation / job almost every aspect of life.I can also lead a normal life if my medication works effectively which can otherwise be a hell for sure.I have reconciled to the fact that my life is 'Uncertain' as there is no firm cure for my illness and it is not always necessary that the medication works effectively and the disorder resurfaces.
The choice of my id 'Brainteaser' is in itself in relation to my illness and disorder.
Lately i have chosen to open up share my innermost secrets.
I am lucky to have such people here with whom i am sharing the darkest secrets of my life.I hope they will understand and if possible avoid ignoring me.
When my grandfather expired my father had hell of a time in shifting the dead body from the hospital to home.Hospital refused to provide an ambulance for this purpose.None of the private taxis agreed either as they cosider it a bad omen to carry a dead body in their private taxi.My late father took out his full wallet at put it at the feet of a cab driver and requested him to take the body to home for last rites.But alas none relented.Finally a turbaned sikh showed up at the site and like a divine person he readily agreed to shift the body in his private car. I remember a ghastly incident wherein the landlord did not allow the tenant to bring in the dead body of his father for performing the last rights in the rented house as she considered it a bad omen.I wonder the hapless situation of a person in such a case. Do u believe and support or follow such bad omens?What would be your reaction in such a situation ? help / ignore ?
I am planning to buy an apartment in Mumbai shortly.For normal people a house is a place wherein they can live with their family etc etc but my intention is just to invest my savings and to have a place of my own wherein i can die when old/sick.Not a very handsome investment but a lowly one but it does suffice my purpose. Thanks to god for giving me the strength to achieve this level of independence.
I am not taking any loans , just an outright purchase as i can't afford loans due the uncertainty in my life on account of my uncertain health.
Over the years i have come to understand and realize that my identity lies in the fact that i do not belong to anyone and noone belongs to me.I understand that it shall continue to be so forever due to my inherent drawbacks which in turn are due to an inherent illness/disorder. This has become an indispensable part of my identity and believe me i have learned to reconcile and be happy with this fact. noone's Bt ( Brainteaser )
This topic strikes me a lot.I have made up my mind to start writing a book over this subject.
The character in the story is a person who is a flesh and blood matter like you and me.The person is suffering from a genetic brain disorder.This disorder is difficult to diagnose and the first time he is diagnosed of this disorder , he is a married man and his wife is nine months pregnant.
His own wife suspects him of willingly cheating her and deliberately ruining her life by hiding this disorder before marriage.He shares a very strange relationship with his wife and so does she.
This person loves his father very much coz despite being too old and meek his father is the only person in the whole world whom he can rely upon in the time of crisis / illness.One fine day the father also passes away and he is left quite alone with noone else to look back upon.
This book will dwell upon the harsh and bitter realities of life of people who are mentally sick and depict how this brain disorder affects his life and his relationship with all incl his wife.
I will start writing this book shortly and i hope this book will enable other people to understand the people with such brain disorders / mental illnesses better.
She checked the numbers and saved pics in my mobile etc.She found pics of some women and some tel nos in my diary and started protesting.I plainly told her that she had no right whatsoever to ask me these questions as she had lost this right.I told her that for past so many years she did not care to even check if I had been alive or not.But for my very elderly late father volunteering to accompany and look after me in the hospital I would have rotten by now.
I instead told her that there was a stage in my life when she demanded a hefty sum to set me free and I did not have that.I told her that if she wished now she was at liberty to take double that amount from me and mind herself.
She kept quiet and she did not say anything after that.
What I told her is a bitter fact of my life.I bet she can never answer these questions cause it was a miracle that I am back to normal life and she never ever expected that when I had been ailing.
It was perhaps some of my good deeds and the good deeds of a saintly father and Gods grace that I am back to normal life.
Today after a very Long time after being ignored Fawnzee said hi to me.It really made me feel good.
Yesterday when i was brainteasing QT ; after a long time of being ignored she reminded me that she was a friend once.It made me feel good and i promised not to braintease her ( at least for some days effect - he he)
I had been trying quite hard to speak to them but it was not working.
I wonder what made them change their mind all of a sudden about me.
After all what is there in this world.One day our role in this ' world - drama ' is over and we all have to die.What is left out is just a very small pile of ash which remixes with the air and water.
I hope other people who ignore me will also speak to me soon- i am sure they will soon.
Remember always people that i am not as bad a guy as u think me to be.
Para i miss u.U used to be soo lively on chat.And u were always nice to me , even when noone was.Whereever u are all my good wishes for u. Wish u would come back and chat with me again. Take Care. Bt
qout;
