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A Story
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Feb 5, 2007 2:40 pm
Mood: experimental,
1007 Views
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I read a story recently. It was about this girl,June, who midly feel in love with this guy, Qu. Qu has been a proud spots guy as he won all the time. However, Qu ran into a car accdient once; since then he cannt run anymore. June heard it from the news; she moved all the way from states to TW; got into the boys' school where he attened. Luckly enought, she became his roomate. Meanwhile, June beacame his supporter. Finally, Qu ruturned to the sports fied and beacame succeed. June told him the whole story about her and her love to him. He tought it over and over and then told her" Sorry thought you were a guy and we were best buddies. but now I feel like a fool, I hate liars." June left, but she did not cry.
girls are stupid sometimes. They would still love a guy even they know they cannot get a thing from it. guys are cruel sometimes. They would not let it go on small little details.If a girl shared her whole heart to ya why do you still find excuses to hurt her?
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2
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I don't need a man
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Feb 2, 2007 3:20 am
Mood: beautiful,
938 Views
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I see you looking at me
Like I got something that's for you
And the way that you stare
Don't you dare
'Cause I'm not about to
Just give it all up to you
'Cause there are some things I won't do
And I'm not afraid to tell you
I don't ever want to leave you confused
The more you try
The less I bite
And I don't have to think it through
You know if I'm into you
I don't need a man to make it happen
I get off being free
I don't need a man to make me feel good
I get off doing my thing
I don't need a ring around my finger
To make me feel complete
So let me break it down
I can get off when you ain't around
Oh!
You know I got my own life
And I bought everything that's in it
So if you want to be with me
It ain't all about the bling you bringing
I want a love that's for real
And without that, no deal
And baby I don't need a hand
If it only wants to grab one thing
The more you try
The less I bite
And I don't have to think it through
You know if I'm feeling you
I don't need a man to make it happen
I get off being free
I don't need a man to make me feel good
I get off doing my thing
I don't need a ring around my finger
To make me feel complete
So let me break it down
I can get off when you ain't around
Oh!
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1
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Snow
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Jan 31, 2007 6:05 pm
Mood: loved,
788 Views
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Edmonton is snowing today again. I love it. Watching the snow flakes fall dwon, I feel pretty much purified.
There was a time I tent to ignore the beauty of the creatures from God, only focusing on me, my life and my boyfriend. Now that everything is getting back on track, I start to noticing all these living creatures around me again. They are beautiful, aren't they? However most of times I am blind that I cannot see the inner beauty.
Life has been fair to everyone. when fate closes a door on you, it will open another window.
I am looking forwards to watch the sun rise tomorrow.
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1
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Faith in the Lord
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Jan 30, 2007 1:13 pm
Mood: grateful,
788 Views
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Only in Him I could find the truth and love. Jesus said in Matthew 28:20 Surely I will be with you always, to the very end of the age. This verse used to be my favorite one. However I found that since I had problems with this guy I went far from God. My whole world turned upside down. God is no longer my focus but my exbf. I would think about him all the time. but ins ome sense I know that he is not the chosen one that God had picked for me. I was midly in love with him and would not care all these. I even prayed to God, hoping we would be together.
However, there came the time that I had to break up with him. I complained and screamed at God, blaming on him not answering my prayers. Since then I stopped trusting in Him; I even felt again him somehow. Later on, there was this other guy came into my life. I had to say the same thing happened again.
I was not crying this time. I felt really sad and down. I started to pray again, hoping that at this point that God would heal my heart because I know that on one else could. I felt messy and upset; I could not sleep. However after I pray, I felt peaceful.
Now I understand that only in him I could find my true love and peace. God did anser me but he said "No" because they were not the chosen ones. God is my father; I know that he wouldn't let all the trageties happening to me but hoping that I could learn a less, to be obedient. He is asking me to trust him and to have faith in him that he has the right one for me at a right time.
My dear Father, I am sorry.
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2
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I am not a girl.
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Jan 28, 2007 10:07 am
Mood: thoughtful,
741 Views
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I used to think I had the answer to everything; but now that I know life doesn't always go my way. All I need this time, more than saying I am fine, is to cheer up. There is no need to protect me. It is time for me to face to do this on my own. Please don't tell me to shut my eyes.
If youlook at me closey, youwill see in my eyes, this girl will always find her way.
I am not a girl, so please don't tell me what to believe. I am just trying to find what I need. I need to know what it is in between.
I am looking for a place cuz notghing is going right, everything is just a mess. Is there anyone trying to find, is anyone trying to take me home. Please take me somewhere new and somewhere cool. Nothing is on my mind. It is a damn cold night, I am trying figuring out what is wrong. I was with you but now I am lost. I have been lost long enough. No that it is time to cheer up. I don't even know who you are but I was in love with you. I have been silly, stupid and confused. But now that I am ready to move on, to my next stage, as I know I gonna live my life and I deserve someone better!!
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0
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Why!
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Jan 26, 2007 8:14 pm
Mood: sad,
841 Views
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Dear Mum,
I really hope that you actually read this letter. But I am scared.
Mum, I don't understand you. Why do you have to push me like this? Mum, I really tried adn I did what you want me to do. I am finishing my pharmacy degree. I got straight A's from school and I had always been a good girl. Why do you have to push me like this?
Mum I am really sick and tired this time. I have been having headach for a long time; Simon told you this but you have never even asked me a word. Mum , am I just air to you? If you really don't like me this much, why do you still call me daughter.
Mum, I have never disappointed you. Mum I am sorry, i cannot keep it on. I am tired. I need a break, please... My heart is crying and it had been hurt so much...
Please, I am begging you just give me a chance to live my life, just once, once in my life.Let me to find someone that I love, please, please...
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1
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I want....
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Jan 26, 2007 12:11 pm
Mood: cold,
916 Views
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That was really nice to see all the commands in my blog. Thanks guys.
I am actually not a strong and couraging person as I could feel the pain and weakness inside. I tried to get myself busy so that I won't be crushed. I am really going through a hard time now as all the pressures are coming up to me. School, work and family, em, life is not easy to carry on...
I was brought up in a very well respected family while having both parent being doctors and a lawyer brother. Now it is my turn to get all the attention. I cannot cry in front of people cuz mum used to tell me to be strong, even just protenting to be as no body will actually care. I'll have to stand up by myself at where I fell, no matter how tough it is.
I listened to her. And I did it; I felt proud of myself that I aced school. Now that I am graduating from pharmacy. However as I grown up, I figured that there is definitely something missing in my life.
I don't really ahve a lot of friends; well, I am really socialable but there isn't anyone I could turn to when I am lonely and upset.Isn't that sad? at the age of 20, not having a single good friend.hehe, I might just be laughing at myself.
I never really had a warm family neither. Both my parents are highly respected. They even work in different countries, ah ha, I didnot get to see them often. My brother, Simon, he is really a good son to my parents as he did exactly what they wanted. Had a nice school education, a nice job, now that he will soon get married with a nice girl. I used to ask him, and he told me that is life, he is ok with it.
emmmm, it might just be me. I am the only exception in my family. I was really a shame to them I guess. Remember when I told my father that I wanted to get into fashion design instead of pharmacy, he told me if I was goona do that I would be out of this family.
Ahhhh, I want to scream but I am scared. I want to cry but I am scared. I want to laugh but I am scared. I want to freak but I am scared. I am scared that someboy will hear me. however I really want to be heared from the bottom of my heart.
I want to hold my mum's hands and wispering to her. I want to have a walk with father after dinner. I want to have a nice and solid conversation with my brother...
I want a family. I want to be loved. I want to love...
But why is it not OK? I just don't get it.
When he came into my life I got relly excited I thought I found the answer but I was wrong again. hahaha
Life really is just a joke to me, meaningless...
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5
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I don't understand
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Jan 25, 2007 5:03 pm
Mood: stressed,
977 Views
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I have been thinking if I should really write this down; but I finally did so.I guess I still wanna cross fingures on this, hoping that somehow at some pint he would give me a call or send me an email.
First time met him, I was just playing and so did he. It was funny how I had gone so far that cannot even stop.
I got really scared when I left that city; I had this uncertain feeling; I knew something was gonna happen. However I never knew that was the last time we seen each other.
After I got back Canada, both of us had been calling each other; I thought he was for real; I was really happy about it. I even thought that might just be it since he purposed. I told myself we might just get married. till now I cannot forget all the fantacies. It was the sweetest time ever in my life.
However all the dreams turn into ashes after he returned to UK. emmm, I don't know and I don't understand waht happened. I understand that he works for the Royal Navy and supposed to be busy but I always believed that if you care about that person you will make time for her.
My mum told me to stop being stupid he probably wouldn't be back anymore. I struggled a lot and did not want to believe that is true, because I love him and he is the first guy that I loved.
I waited and waited , day after day. I called him but he was not answering the phone. I told myself well he might just be busy. However i really came to a breakdown last week. I called again and he phone was out of serivce. I guess that was really the end.
I held the phone, standing for 5 mins,not knowing what to do. I was really lost. I had gone too far.
I had gone too far.
I thought I would just be ok cuz he was just a guy and I shouldn't be wasting my time. Seriously I tried to work and focus on school so that I wouldn't get too lonely and sad. I failed totally.
hehe, I feel laughing at myself. I have never been such a loser before.
My favourite song is 'Through the rain'. I have been listening again and agian.
I know I really need to break away and I really have to walk through the rain and stad up again by myself...
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7
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Rumors
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Jan 24, 2007 10:00 pm
Mood: crazy,
800 Views
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Saturday, stepping into the club
The music makes me wanna tell the DJ, turn it up
I feel the energy all around
And my body can't stop moving to the sound
But I can tell that you're watching me
And you're probably gonna write what you didn't see
Well, I just need a little space to breathe
Can you please respect my privacy
Why can't you just let me do
The things I wanna do
I just wanna be me
I don't understand
Why would you wanna bring me down
I'm only having fun
I'm gonna live my life (but not the way you want
Here we are, back up in the club
People taking pictures
Don't you think they get enough
I just wanna be all over the floor
And throw my hands up in the air to a beat like
I've gotta say respectfully
I would love it if you would take the cameras off of me
Cause I just want a little room to breathe
Can you please respect my privacy
Why can't you just let me do
The things I wanna do
I just wanna be me
I don't understand why
Would you wanna bring me down
I'm only having fun
I'm gonna live my life
I'm tired of rumors starting
I'm sick of being followed
I'm tired of people lying
Saying what they want about me
Why can't they back up off me
Why can't they let me live
I'm gonna do it my way
Take this for just what it is
I just need to free my mind
Just wanna dance and have a good time
I'm tired of rumors
Followed
What they want of me
Why can't they (they, they, they, they, they) let me live
Take this for just what it is
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0
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Foolish girl
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Jan 24, 2007 8:20 pm
Mood: drunk,
840 Views
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I cannot believe it is happening now. I though it is all gone but it is coming back. Ah, this stupid feeling is killing me.
I cannot believe he asked me to marry him. I don't even think we know each other that much. Besides, he is not my type at all.
I cannot believe I am graduating pretty soon. i don't know what to do next. Should I just be a pharmacist then? My mum must be happy then.
I cannot believe I am that weak. Since last time I found my bf was cheating on me; it is been a month. I am still low. Ah this thing is taking forever.
I told myself that I have to stand up and I really tired. it is just hard.
I feel like I am a fool.
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3
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