We Walk ,...in the Dark : Why Relationships Struggle. Oct 31, 2008 6:54 pm Mood: contemplative, 1160 Views How so? What we carry within us – a true image of relationship possibility – has long ago been obscured by the noise of commerce, the seductions of culture and the demands of living. Our instinctual knowledge of partnering, our need to love, our aspirations of creating a family with longevity, all suffer from inattention. We could say we are pressured to focus on what we want and increasingly ignorant of what we need. Here are a few distractions: ...bite sized 'news,' the call to instant gratification of needs, the absence of meaningful conversations, life style impermanence and the loss of community, and the omnipresence of television. Forgive please the rant in this.... I wondered if I should even have 'gone there' again. I do so because of a honest believe that those who want to bring life back into relationships that have flat line and leaders who’ve lost their tether to their own instincts and their own wisdom. Do note though that the two, marriage competency and leadership competency, have a great deal in common: Both require certain skills and talents and, far more important, Both require a continuous deepening of connection to one's self, one's own center – the cauldron of meaning, values, love energy and genius with which each of us has been blessed but from which many have become disconnected. This inner world can lose its vividness, fecundity, energy as well as the power to guide us IF we ignore it. You can tell if you are ignoring it.... Does the word marriage awaken a sense of awe, deep possibility, a longing for community and a sense of belonging in you? If not, your inner world is neglected. Does the word divorce roll off your tongue as easily as, say, vacation, going shopping or the time of day? If it does you’ve lost contact with your own deep values. These powerful words offer deep meaning... and point to relationship possibilities and relationship fractures. They also describe common human experiences – the need for partnering, as well as the sorrow of failure. The 'dark' we walk in, is primarily the forgetfulness with which we treat our ideas. When powerful ideas lose their connection to powerful events, we lose their substance. Think 'democracy,' 'loyalty,' 'sacrifice,' and 'commitment.' We are meant to mate. We are meant to share ourselves intimately with another. We all long to be known and we all need to love. These define and shape the quality of each of our everyday lives. How is that like leadership? Someone said this to me recently: 'Leaders aren’t appointed, leaders volunteer.' She meant, I think..., to remind me of something often overlooked – that leadership is a quality we all have. What we don't do, probably because we aren't able to be conscious of our gift, is volunteer it. This is a big idea. It's an idea that can change how you relate to your work in this world, your partner, your community, and your children. Without connection to the gift you bring..., you will relate to yourself and therefore to others as if you have nothing special to offer. You might even have been educated to call this humility. This loss – the unawareness of who you are and what you bring to the table– causes a "dumbing-down" of attitude about marriage and similarly about leadership. If you're leading but not aware of who you are and what YOU bring to the table in any relationship, your leadership will look more like management. If you’re involved or married and unaware of yourself, every day will look a lot like yesterday. There will not be any new ideas introduced, relational energy will be low,... and emotional vitality will flat line. Underneath this all is time for a new paradigm – for marriage as well as for leadership. Paradigms which don’t so much describe the idea by what they do – leaders create shared vision, establish goals, set parameters of responsibility; marriage is a romance, party (the wedding), AND a commitment to stay together, but create an invitation to what they may become. Paradigms shape our expectations. Consider JFK’s famous statement. He was inviting a paradigm shift: “ask not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country.” Darkness... is itself a paradigm , yet also a metaphor: challenge it... and the light will flood in to correct your paths. Rambling Noni... Signing out! 0 Comments

Obama: Country misled about the costs of Iraq war :O Aug 6, 2008 8:31 pm Mood: infuriated, 1829 Views Posted: 01:30 PM ET From CNN Associate Producer Martina Stewart (CNN) – A day after the fifth anniversary of the start of the Iraq war and with Americans increasingly worried about their economic security, Sen. Barack Obama said Thursday that the Bush administration had misled the public about the economic costs of waging a military campaign in Iraq. “What no one disputes is that the cost of this war is far higher than what we were told it would be,” said Obama. “We were told this war would cost $50 to 60 billion and that reconstruction would pay for itself out of Iraqi profits. We were told higher estimates were nothing but baloney. Like so much else about this war, we were not told the truth,” he added. The conflict in Iraq has cost $608 billion according to a House Budget Committee report but some estimates put the long term costs of the war at $3 trillion. Obama also targeted Sens. John McCain and Hillary Clinton for their support of the Iraq war. Noting that the Bush administration has given wartime tax cuts to wealthy Americans which McCain once opposed but now supports, Obama said “No matter what the costs, no matter what the consequences, John McCain seems determined to carry out a third Bush term.” “That is an outcome American can’t afford,” Obama added. As for Sen. Clinton, Obama noted a recent Clinton attack on McCain for supporting policies that have led to the country’s war costs. “Her point would have been more compelling had she not joined Sen. McCain in making the tragically ill-considered decision to vote for the Iraq war in the first place,” said Obama. The McCain campaign called Obama “fundamentally wrong” on the economy and national security in a statement issued in response to Obama’s remarks. “On the economy, Senator Obama offers the tired tax and spend ideas of the past,” the statement said. “On national security, Sen. Obama would rather rehash the past than look forward with resolve to address fundamental challenges and opportunities we have today to secure our future,” the McCain campaign added. In a recent CNN/Opinion Research Corporation poll, 7 in 10 Americans said they thought the government’s spending on the Iraq war was responsible for the country’s troubled economy. Recent polling also shows that a majority of Americans believe the country is in a recession and that the economy is the number one issue for the pubic by a 2-to-1 margin over the Iraq war which ranks as the second most important issue. McCain was recently in the Middle East with other members of the Senate Armed Services Committee. Sen. Clinton gave a speech Wednesday that emphasized her plan to withdraw U.S. troops from Iraq if she wins the White House. OBAMA 2008!! 3 Comments

My Thoughts on Shaming Tactics...and YOU. May 21, 2008 3:46 pm Mood: amused, 1599 Views Have you ever seen crabs in a bucket or tub? When one of them tries to escape and has a good chance, the other crabs pull him down too. Same thing with SOME people: They don't like it when things are not in uniform... aka conformity -if you are not doing it THEIR WAY, you must be doing it wrong, no matter what. They HATE IT however they find out when someone is happy (either with his marriage or single life or getting paid a lot of money, etc.)! Duh? BUT they HATE IT EVEN MORE when someone they KNOW CLOSE made the right decisions and is really enjoying his/her life! Best way to reflect everything they say is to simply disregard them because IT IS ultimately YOU who is responsible for YOUR HAPPINESS! These shamers/blamers are dependent on outside sources in order to be HAPPY and never hold themselves responsible. For them, it is easier to blame someone/something else than it is say that they really F*CKED UP themselves. Who in the hell would say: "Yeah, I screwed up... my marriage is not worth it. I wished I stayed single doing whatever I wanted." Hmm... Let them "clown" around in their own lives. Ah, yes, the tears of a clown... ...except looking back, YOU are gonna be the one enjoying the fun ride in life! In the long run... THREE CHEERS to being true to YOU! To Life, Freedom, and Happiness! 7 Comments

The Pimp Game... and Women Who Love It. May 18, 2008 1:07 pm Mood: amused, 1822 Views Why do some women think a real man has XYZ traits... and do not account for the possibility that they are wrong about a guy until the fallout? ...and even then many of these women still do not learn...*sigh* How these women figure men treating them like sh*t equals masculinity I'll never know, as disrespect is disrespect. IMO, women who accept this sort of treatment gravitate towards it or literally prefer that guys deal with them like they're some kind of stray-dog, b*tch-in-heat, off the street type. They are either just stupid, or, they are just...a b*tch off the street, ...and STRONGLY in need of some good, old-fashioned home training. I was watching this episode on The Shield the other day, and they were interrogating a pimp. They were trying to find out how he was able to turn out(prostitute) a woman who was a PhD in law, held an MBA and was a corporate laywer... ...how he was able to get into the mind to have her thinking it's better to sell punta out of a community center...than stand on the strength of her credentials. He said,.. "Every woman has a hole in her heart to match the hole between her legs. I just have to figure out how I'm gonna fill hers. I find that thing that she needs and I keep feeding it to her and feeding it to her... ...then I take it away,... ...and she can't live without it... then...I am God..." Here, here said the unjust thug... And what he basically said,... ...I now understand: THIS is the pimp game. THIS is how pimps turn women out, messing with their emotions...like a dope pusher who gives the first hit free, then sticks it to you when you come back feignin' for more of the same. IMO pimps, players, jerks, and bad boys are using the 'pimp game' to make women their 'emotional wh*res', at least from a mental standpoint; Yet, in the women's minds, there is nothing wrong with it. But viewing these 'woe-men', tails wagging in anticipation, their behavior mimics the drug-seeking behavior: It's that 'dopamine-in-the- brain' mentality that's triggered by the emotional highs and lows of attention-whoring. Men become simply the pushers and women... merely looking to get high. Pimp Game in a Nutshell: ...Pump a woman's head up, tell her the right things, compliment her, give her attention... Turn around the next day or next week and act like she never even existed..."It's not all about you. You ain't sh*t"... Works like a charm... Even if the guy doesn't get the goods, he can still keep these ~stupid women~ chasing after him forever using this method -- and then jump from one 'dog' to another as time and necessity allow *sigh*and woemen...rival in the possibility of having their turn in the 'spotlight'. ...Like I said, these women who cater to the dogish mentality of these types of men are something else! (and to think they come online weeping and in the state of victimization after they are finally 'pumped n dumped'-- as if they ever had the guy in the first place?) Yet, what's real dumb about it is that these 'type' of women don't seem to respond to decent guys unless they are spitting some pimp or player game. Truly amazing.... for it takes a 'wh*re'... to fall for a 'pimp'. 13 Comments

Goodbye Korean Friend Finder... May 15, 2008 1:42 pm 2629 Views ...to long blogs. Seven words... good enough? 20 Comments

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