I never knew that a piece of paper would change my mentality so much. Although our "real" celebratory wedding and honeymoon won't be until next year, the marriage certificate makes both my hubsy and I feel different.
We dated for 5 and a half years now - since February 13-14, 2003. We recently got married on 8/8/08 in court in Queens, New York. Because we dated so long, we took each other for granted but the marriage certificate changed us. I really feel that it unified us.
Instead of fighting and arguing with him, I want to protect him and defend him. It's like we're an army of two! Whatever obstacles and battles he encounters I want to be his soldier and fight for him.
My mentality has surely changed.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- AT THE BEGINNING Richard Marx and Anastacia
We were strangers starting out on our journey Never dreaming what we'd have to go through Now here we are and I'm suddenly standing At the beginning with you
No one told me I was going to find you Unexpected what you did to my heart When I lost hope you were there to remind me This is the start
And Life is a road and I want to keep going Love is a river I want to keep flowing Life is a road now and forever A Wonderful journey
I'll be there when the world stops turning I'll be there when the storm is through In the end I wanna be standing At the beginning with you........
My hubsy and I were walking towards our car after shopping at Target today. As he was walking, he took out his phone, played around with it, and then proceeded to read an article online. I asked him "what is so interesting that you have to read it while walking on the street (parking lot), there are cars and you have to watch out." It was some fantasy football article.
From this incident I questioned - are we too connected? I ride the train to work everyday. Every person on the train has a Blackberry, and/or cell phone. Whether it be talking on the phone, emailing or texting, people are constantly "connected." Where is the peace? I don't want a Blackberry. I don't want to let people know I am always accessible. I am not that busy of a person. And I like it that way. My job is fairly relaxing. Things could wait till I go into work the next morning.
Don't get me wrong technology is great. It simplifies a lot of things. However, it can become too much of a good thing.
SIMPLE: he loves me for me! With my faults, insecurities, anxiety, irritability, neurotic tendencies, fiery-ness (you get the idea), he still loves me. (I do have some good points...lol =).
Throughout our years together, he has been my only constant. I don't want to remember a past without him. We started off as poor law students, and here we are, two poor attorneys (with all the student loans: debt). One thing still remains: us.
When he saw the ugliness of my character, he remained steadfast. When he saw my sorrow and tears, he held me. When he saw my anxiety, he was my calm. When he saw I was afraid, he was my protector. When I crawled into my dark hole, he always pulled me out. When he saw my joy, he rejoiced even more so for me.
Plus, he's extremely witty and smart! And he makes a damn good tv dinner (we ate a lot of that in law school). Don't forget fast food now...
Life is so very fragile. As I encounter and learn of more and more deaths of young professionals like myself, whether it be from online or from acquaintances, I realize how fragile life is. We live our life as if our life is infinite but it is not. We, as human beings are not made or meant to live forever. We act and live our lives as if we will live forever.
Every moment should be cherished. Time does not wait for anyone. Negative thoughts should be banished. What is the point of negativity? In the grand scheme of things, does it really matter whether someone was rude to you? Does it matter whether or not someone is getting on your nerves? Or arrogant? It can be any characteristic that you find offensive or irritating. At the end of the day does it really matter? No. No. No. Since it doesn't matter, why focus on it?
I came across Steve Wolkoff's death on the internet, when I was reading another person's site (we attended college together). I ran into her blog post about SW. He was a computer techie from San Francisco. He was 30 years old. He had a full life. It seemed he had a wonderful family and a beautiful girlfriend. All that was taken away when he passed away from a seemingly senseless death on the California freeway one afternoon, due to the actions of a drunken driver who decided to cross the median and hit the car he and his girlfriend were riding in a head on crash. SW died on the scene and his girlfriend suffered major injuries. I may not have known him personally BUT in a sense I did know him. SW was not a famous person nor was he wealthy. I know him because he is me. He is you. He is your friend, your brother, and your colleague.
God does have a plan. God needed SW. SW's work on earth was done. That doesn't take away the sadness and the senselessness actions of the drunken driver.
In conclusion, let's live to appreciate life. And its many moments (whether it is good or bad).
"People are like glass houses, it's fragile, it sparkles and shines when the sun is out, but when darkness comes, true beauty is revealed if there is light within."
This quote is absolutely so, so true.
A little history and a little venting ahead:
I am not a very social person. When I was younger, especially during my crazy college years, I tried. Really tried to be more social and outgoing. However, looking back I realized how uncomfortable I was - all the time, when I was out with a lot of people. I knew deep down none of these people were really my friends. They were merely "hang out" buddies. I still kept up the facade for several years and always had people to keep me company. As I grew a little older, I got tired of the party scene and my "so-called" friends. So I stopped partying. My social circle slowly diminished. Life goes on. It didn't matter anyway because these people weren't my real friends to being with.
I still kept in touch with a handful of people; however, most of my friends were male. Eventually, they either moved away, got girlfriends or both. Let me tell you nothing makes a male friend disappear faster than when they get a girlfriend. Still that was okay. I still had a couple of good girlfriends around. Recently, I went through a really dark and unbelievably difficult time in my life. And one of the girlfriends I thought was a real friend was a FRAUD. She was not there for me at all. I know I was always there for her during her difficult moments and her happy moments. However, when I needed her, she disappeared. She couldn't even pick up the phone to call me to see if I was alright. She text'd me a handful of times and that was that.
As defined by dictionary.com - A friend is:
1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard. 2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter.
Holy cow. She doesn't fit either definition! Go figure.
To my so-called friend: Although, I blocked you from seeing my profile/blog on Kff; to me your done. I will act civil to you when we run into each other but my attachment and affection for you are gone.
I realized when it became dark, she had absolutely no light within, no beauty at all.
With friends like these who needs enemies?
BTW: I knew this person for 8-9 years in real life.
What is the meaning of life?
