PeoplePC can be educational Mar 9, 2009 12:27 pm 854 Views Those of us with dial have a variety of options. My gramma uses peoplepc for her internet connection. When you click connect it pops up with the word or tip of the day; more often the word. Some of the words I've heard of, and wonder if anyone else has. Today's word is one I have not heard before: opprobrium Definition: reproach mingled with contempt and thought I'd share it with you. 0 Comments

Sears Catalog Mar 3, 2009 12:47 pm 1023 Views Sven and Ole were looking at a Sears catalog and admiring the models. Ole said to Sven, "Look at the beautiful vomen in dis catalog." Sven replied, "Yes, dey are very beautiful And look at the price!" Ole, with wide eyes, said "Dey sure aren't very expensive. At dis price, I'm buying one!" Sven smiled. "Good idea! Order one and if she's as beautiful as she is in the catalog, I vill get one too." Three weeks later, Sven asked Ole, "Did you ever receive the girl you ordered from the Sears catalog?" Ole replied, "No, but it shouldn't be long now. I got her clothes yesterday!" 1 comment

The Joys of Being a Ticketing Agent Feb 28, 2009 1:23 pm Mood: LMAO, 1216 Views This is from a ticketing agent for a major U.S. airline in Washington, DC. The following are actual conversations she's had with Congessmen, Senators and staff members. These are just some examples of why she think the US is in trouble! ------------------------------------------- I had a New Hampshire Congress woman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!) ------------------------------------------- I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to Cape Town. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information. Then she interrupted me with, 'I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape Town is in Massachusetts .' Without trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained, 'Cape Cod is in Massachusetts , Cape Town is in Africa .' Her response - click. ------------------------------------------- A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando . He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, 'Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!' (OMG) ------------------------------------------- I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, 'Is it possible to see England from Canada ?' I said, 'No.' She said, 'But they look so close on the map.' (OMG, again!) ------------------------------------------- An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas . When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas . When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car he said, 'I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.' (Aghhhh) ------------------------------------------- An Illinois Congress woman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 am and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that. ------------------------------------------- A New York lawmaker called and asked, 'Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?' I said, 'No, why do you ask?' She replied, 'Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said 'FAT', and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!' After putting her on hold for a minute while I looked into it (I was laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno , CA is 'FAT' (Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage. ------------------------------------------- A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii . After going over all the cost info, she asked, 'Would it be cheaper to fly to California , and then take the train to Hawaii ? (yup!!) ------------------------------------------- I just got off the phone with a freshman Congress man who asked, 'How do I know which plane to get on?' I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, 'I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.' ------------------------------------------- A lady Senator called and said, 'I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?' I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, Fl. on a commuter plane. She said, 'Yeah, whatever, smarty!' ------------------------------------------- A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China . After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. 'Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those.' I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, 'Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!' ------------------------------------------- A New Mexico Congress woman called to make reservations, 'I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York .' I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, 'Are you sure that's the name of the town?' 'Yes, what flights do you have?' replied the lady. After some searching, I came back with, 'I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere.' The lady retorted, 'Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!' So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, 'You don't mean Buffalo , do you?' The reply? 'Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.' ------------------------------------------- Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it's in! 2 Comments

The Kitten and the Bird Feb 23, 2009 12:18 pm 798 Views Sometimes you just need a friend to help out 0 Comments

Midlife Feb 22, 2009 12:47 pm 761 Views I've seen two shows lately that went on and on about how mid-life is a great time for women. Just last week Oprah had a whole show on how great menopause will be .. . . Puhleeeeeeeze! I've had a few thoughts of my own and would like to share them with you. Whether you are pushing 40, 50, 60 (or maybe even just pushing your luck), you'll probably relate. Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down. This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache. In mid-life women no longer have upper arms, we have wing spans. We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts, we are flying squirrels in drag. Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror and you can see your rear without turning around. Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and you realize that this is the only time someone will ask you to appear topless. Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top and scream, 'Listen honey, even the Roman empire fell and those will too.' Mid-life brings wisdom to know that life throws us curves and we're sitting on our biggest ones. Mid-life is when you look at your know-it-all, cell phone-wearing teenager and think: 'For this I have stretch marks?' In mid-life your memory starts to go. In fact the only thing we can retain is water. Mid-life means your Body By Jake includes Legs By Rand McNally , More red & blue lines than an accurately scaled map of Wisconsin. Mid-life means that you become more reflective. You start pondering the 'big' questions. What is life? Why am I here? How much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice? But mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what is important. We realize that breasts sag, hips expand and chins double, but our loved ones make the journey worthwhile. Would any of you trade the knowledge that you have now, for the body you had way back when? Maybe our bodies simply have to expand to hold all the wisdom and love we've acquired. That's my philosophy and I'm sticking to it! 0 Comments

Duck Butts Feb 21, 2009 12:49 pm Mood: giggles, 781 Views Now some of you may be expecting a joke of some kind. Nope! Not this time, but it may make you giggle. I live in a trailer on my Grandmother's property, and she has a small lake that I am licky enough to be next to. This lake attracts duck, mostly Mallards, but we get the odd Mud Hen or three. Once or twice there have even been geese. With the weather being wonky as it has been I have taken to opening my front (and only door) to see what kind of weather it is. A few days ago I opened my door to see several duck butts facing my way. Now that is just what I wanted to see upon first waking up....duck butts. Sorry I couldn't get a picture of it as getting close enough would mean they fly of and from where I was you wouldn't be able to see them in the picture. But I'm sure you have a good enough imagination. 0 Comments

GUESS WHO CAME HOME FOR DINNER? Feb 17, 2009 2:19 pm 1148 Views Could you imagine…come home from work and find this tiny creature napping on your couch with your dog? This fawn followed this beagle home...right through the doggie door....in the Bittinger, MD. area recently. The owner came home to find the visitor had made himself right at home. 2 Comments

Must know about*77 Jan 9, 2009 3:23 pm 1580 Views I knew about the red light on cars, but not the *77. It was about 1:00 p.m. in the afternoon, and Lauren was driving to visit a friend. An UNMARKED police car pulled up behind her> and put his lights on. Lauren's parents have always told them never to pull over for an unmarked car on the side of the road , but rather to wait until they get to a gas station, etc. Lauren had actually listened to her parents advice, and promptly called * 77 on her cell phone to tell the police dispatcher that she would not pull over right away. She proceeded to tell the dispatcher that there was an unmarked police car with a flashing red light on his rooftop behind her The dispatcher checked to see if there were police cars near where she was and there weren't, and he told her to keep driving, remain calm and that he had back up already on the way. Ten minutes later 4 cop cars surrounded her along with the unmarked car behind her. One policeman went to her side and the others surrounded the car behind. They pulled the guy from the car and tackled him to the ground. The man was a convicted rapist and wanted for other crimes, including previous Impersonating an Officer charges. I never knew about the*77 Cell Phone feature, but especially for a woman alone in a car, you should not pull over for an unmarked car. Apparently police have to respectyour right to keep going to a safe &quiet place. You obviously need to make some signals that you acknowledge them (i.e. put on your hazard lights) or call *77 like Lauren did. Too bad the cell phone companies don't generally give you this little bit of wonderful information. Speaking to a service rrepresentative at BellSouth Mobility confirmed that *77 was a direct link to state trooper info in all states. So, now it's your turn to let your friends know about*77. Send this to every woman (or person) you know; it may save a life. That's * (star, asterick whatever you want to call it) 77 This was sent to my at my private email by a friend. I don't Lauren, but I fely this should be passed on. 3 Comments

Bittersweet Memories Nov 26, 2008 12:19 pm Mood: bittersweet, 1994 Views Last night I found a box I haven't seen in 6 years. In it was 25 years of memories of my pen pal. We started writing in 1978. Over the years he sent a total of 14 Christmas/birthday cards. I even found a photo he sent from when he was in the Army...a 2nd Lt. I do have every letter he sent me. The last card he sent was Christmas 2002. We lost track of each other in October 2003, right around his birthday. In a way that sparked the downward spiral for me. Shortly after we lost track of each other, my mother died. A few months later my husband and I divorced. A year or so later I injured mt back, lost my job and home and beloved pets. The last couple of years have been very hard foor me. I don't blame the pen pal for my misfortune, but it would have been better to have my friend to write to for love and support. This is the last card I got. 3 Comments

Meet Yoda the cat with FOUR ears Aug 24, 2008 12:11 pm Mood: amazed, 1738 Views By Daily Mail Reporter If Batman had a cat, it would probably look something like this. The household pet, named Yoda, was born with an extra set of ears. Valerie and Ted Rock took him in two years ago after visiting a bar near their home in Chicago, where he was being passed round by curious drinkers. He was one of a large litter and the owners were looking for a home for him. A good listener: Two-year-old house cat Yoda was born with four ears The couple immediately fell for the freaky feline and asked the owner if they could adopt him. He agreed and the couple named the cat Yoda, after the pointy-eared Jedi knight in Star Wars. Valerie, 65, said: 'We were at a pub on the south side of Chicago with a group of friends when we noticed a small cage sitting on the bar and people passing around a kitten. 'He had been part of a large litter and the owners were looking to find a home for him. 'Ted and I had just lost a cat that was our pet for over 20 years, and we were sure we were done with cats. 'When he was passed around he reached for Ted, crawled up into the crook of his neck and fell asleep - Ted was a goner. 'It was a done deal when the kitten made himself at home on Ted's shoulder. 'We decided to name him Yoda. I understand the Star Wars character was based on George Lucas' cat.' After adopting the eight-week-old kitten into their Illinois home, Valerie decided to have Yoda checked out with the local vet. But the vet was mystified by his unique appearance. 'The vet had never seen anything like it before,' explains Valerie. 'He immediately went to the internet and found the four-eared cat in Germany. 'We have spoken with other vets in our acquaintance, and they likewise had never encountered anything like this. 'We began to realise that we had something very special. 'As a result, he has been an indoor cat and has a chip installed in case he gets lost. Yoda is so different that we were concerned that he might be catnapped.' Yoda's extra 'flaps' are separate to the base of his skull, with one placed slightly behind the other. Yet despite his unusual looks, Valerie is sure Yoda's behaviour - and hearing - are quite normal. 'Yoda's hearing is normal as far as we know,' says Valerie. 'People do a double take when they see him or his picture. It is great fun showing him off. 'We have actually had people ask if we had his ears cut to look this way. 'But he is a perfectly normal affectionate, curious cat and is a joy to have around. 'He is not afraid of anything and is very sociable unlike some of the other cats I have owned. 'But he does have an interesting obsession with bread - I can't leave bread on the counter for a moment. 'And when he purrs, it is not audible. The only way I know that he is purring is to put my finger on his throat to feel the vibration. 'He also is not very vocal. He meows, but only softly, and not very often which is a good thing.' 0 Comments

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