Clever Bonobo Again Triggers Fire Alarm Nov 16, 2006 9:02 am 407 Views Wednesday, November 15, 2006 DES MOINES, Iowa - Panbanisha the bonobo is up to her tricks again. For the second time in two months, the 20-year-old animal triggered a fire alarm at the Great Ape Trust of Iowa research center. The trouble started at about 8:15 a.m. Wednesday, when Panbanisha wanted to go outside but the staff was too busy to let her out, trust officials said. Panbanisha then apparently lost her temper and pulled the alarm, officials said. It's a trick Panbanisha initially learned in October when she saw a welder start the alarm. It took her less than a day to learn how to duplicate the excitement. When the alarm sounded again the next morning, "I went to check on Pan, and she was sitting there next to it with a smile on her face," said lead scientist Sue Savage-Rumbaugh last month. Savage-Rumbaugh said she explained the danger of such mischief and Panbanisha promised not to do it again. Panbanisha is one of seven bonobos at the Great Ape Trust and was among the first group to arrive in April 2005. Bonobos are one of the most human-like of the great apes and have sophisticated language skills. Trust spokesman Al Setka said there are fire alarms throughout the center. The one Panbanisha triggered was about the level of a light switch and had a pull handle, he said. Trust officials said they will cover the alarms to prevent a third prank from Panbanisha. 0 Comments

20 Ways To Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity Oct 28, 2006 5:04 pm Mood: amused, 569 Views 1- At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on, point a hairdryer at passing cars and see if they slow down. 2- Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. 3- Every time someonse asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. 4- Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN". 5- Put de-caf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addiction, switch to Espresso! 6- In the memo field of your checks, write "for smuggling diamonds". 7- Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the Prophecy". 8- Dont use any punction 9- As often as possible, skip rather than walk. 10-Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with serious face. 11-Specify at the Drive Thru your order is To Go. 12-Sing along at the opera. 13-Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme. 14-Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day. 15- Five days in advance tell your friends you can't attend their party because you;re not in the mood. 16-Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name...Rock Bottom. 17-When money comes out of the ATM, scream "I won! I won!" (i've done this) 18-When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot screaming "Run for your lives!! They're loose!!" 19-Tell your children over dinner that "Due to the economy we are going to have to let one of you go." 20-AND the final way to maintain a healthy level of insanity...send this to some one and make them smile. 0 Comments

Couple End Up Catching Dog in Fla. Bay Oct 23, 2006 8:32 pm 632 Views Monday, October 23, 2006 KEY LARGO, Fla. - Ray Truche Jr. and Lisa Largrassa fished for hours and didn't catch anything - except a drowning dog. Motoring their 23-foot fishing boat earlier this month on Florida Bay, the two hit something unusual and turned around to check. "As we came back upon it, I realized it was a little fat dog," said Truche, of Manchester, Mass. "It was having trouble keeping its head above water. Its big eyes were looking at us. It was almost as if it was saying, 'Don't leave me here!'" The couple leaned over the boat and made their only catch of the day: a 5-year-old cairn terrier named Tigger, The Key West Citizen reported Monday. Tigger was apparently thrown from Diane and Richard Beckman's boat on their way from Key Largo to Marathon. The Beckmans searched frantically for 2 1/2 hours with no sign of the dog. "We went back and forth, back and forth," Diane said. "Finally we just gave up, because we thought he couldn't have survived in the water for that long. I was just heartbroken. " Since there was no answer at the home listed on Tigger's tag, Truche and Largrassa dropped him off at the Upper Keys Animal Shelter. Diane was elated when she got home and listened to her messages. She went quickly to pick up Tigger. "He didn't know me. He was so terrified. As soon as he realized it was me, he jumped in my arms and wouldn't let go," she said. 0 Comments

Great Ape Scolded for Pulling Fire Alarm Oct 23, 2006 4:48 pm 620 Views Monday, October 23, 2006 DES MOINES, Iowa - One of the great apes at a research center in Des Moines has learned a valuable lesson - don't pull the fire alarm. A bonobo named Panbanisha did just that last Friday, sending out the fire department to the Great Ape Trust of Iowa. Fire department spokesman Brian O'Keefe said Monday it was the first known case of an animal setting off a fire alarm in Des Moines. Trust spokesman Al Setka said a 25-year-old female named Panbanisha was the guilty ape. Setka said Sue Savage-Rumbaugh, a lead scientist at the trust focusing on studying the behavior and intelligence of bonobos, scolded Panbanisha. "It's my understanding that she's been told not to do it again," Setka said. The fire alarm is on a wall in the bonobo home in an area used by the apes and members of the scientific team. Panbanisha is one of seven bonobos at the Great Ape Trust, and was among the first group to arrive in April 2005. Bonobos are among the most human-like of the great apes. Setka said there are fire alarms throughout the center. The one triggered last week was about the level of a light switch and had a pull handle, he said. The trust was taking steps to secure the alarm with a protective cover, he said. Setka said he didn't immediately know if all fire alarms would be covered, or just the one in the bonobo area. The center, on a 230-acre site, also has three orangutans. 0 Comments

Heavenly Hole in One Oct 23, 2006 2:47 am 577 Views There was this preacher who was an avid golfer. Every chance he could get, he could be found on the golf course swinging away. It was an obsession. One Sunday was a picture perfect day for golfing. The sun was out, no clouds in the sky, and the temperature was just right. The preacher was in a quandary as to what to do, and shortly, the urge to play golf overcame him. He called an assistant to tell him that he was sick and could not do church, packed the car up, and drove three hours to a golf course where no one would recognize him. Happily, he began to play the course. An angel up above was watching the preacher and was quite perturbed. He went to God and said, "Look at the preacher. He should be punished for what he is doing." God nodded in agreement. The preacher teed up on the first hole. He swung at the ball, and it sailed effortlessly through the air and landed right in the cup three hundred and fifty yards away (as they say in basketball, nothing but net). A picture perfect hole-in-one. He was amazed and excited. The angel was a little shocked. He turned to God and said, "Begging Your pardon, but I thought you were going to punish him." God smiled. "Think about it -- who can he tell?" 0 Comments

Did you ever stop and wonder...... Oct 22, 2006 8:23 pm 627 Views Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours? If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are dead? Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? What is the speed of darkness? If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be? If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here? Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer? Do you cry under water? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Did you ever stop and wonder...... Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?" Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum." Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is? Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (This one kills me!!!!) If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Stop singing and read on . . . . . .. . . . . Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? 0 Comments

Spanish King Denies Shooting Drunk Bear Oct 19, 2006 7:26 pm 687 Views Thursday, October 19, 2006 MADRID, Spain - The king says it didn't happen. And the bear isn't around to talk about it anymore. A spokeswoman for Spanish King Juan Carlos said Thursday that Russian reports the 68-year-old monarch brought down a tamed and inebriated bear during a visit in August were "ridiculous." The palace confirmed the king, who is known to enjoy hunting, was in Russia at the time of the alleged shooting, but it says he didn't kill any bear, let alone one that was fed vodka-spiked honey. "He neither hunted with (Russian President Vladimir) Putin nor killed a bear," a spokeswoman for the palace told The Associated Press. But those denials are apparently not enough to stop regional Russian authorities from launching an inquiry into how the bear met its end. Vyacheslav Pozgalyov, governor of the Vologda region, about 250 miles northeast of Moscow, set up a working group including a deputy governor and top environmental protection officials to look into the August incident, said his spokeswoman Yevgenia Toloknova. Russia's top business daily Kommersant on Thursday cited a letter to the governor written by the region's deputy hunting chief, Sergei Starostin, claiming the bear - named Mitrofan - had been fed honey mixed with vodka before being released near the site where the king was to be hunting. Toloknova refused to say whether any local officials had accompanied the king on his hunting trip. Starostin wrote in the letter that the local authorities turned the king's hunting into a "disgusting fraud." Mitrofan, whom Starostin described as "a good-natured and joyful bear" was taken from his home at a local holiday resort and brought to the hunting place where they "generously fed him with vodka mixed with honey and pushed him into a field," the newspaper quoted the letter as saying. "Naturally, a heavy, drunken animal became an easy target. His Highness Juan Carlos took Mitrofan out with one shot," Starostin said in the letter, according to Kommersant. During the August trip, Juan Carlos met with Putin at the Russian president's vacation residence. The Russian media reports do not allege that Putin was present during the hunt. Though the Spanish palace spokeswoman, whose name could not be used due to palace rules, described reports of the bear's shooting as "ridiculous," the king has reportedly taken aim at the shaggy beasts before. Juan Carlos hunted bears and wild boar during a trip to Romania in 2004, according to Spain's El Mundo newspaper. That same year, he took up an invitation to hunt bison and pheasants in Poland. It was unlikely the Russian reports would have any effect on Juan Carlos's high popularity at home. The king is a respected father figure for modern Spain, acting largely as a figurehead monarch and international ambassador for all things Spanish. Spaniards like his down-to-earth manner and family-man image - a loving husband, father and grandfather. But he is perhaps most beloved for his role in putting down a 1981 coup attempt that sought to restore rightwing rule just six years after the death of dictator Gen. Francisco Franco. The king went on television in the middle of the night to order the rebellious soldiers back to barracks, and the coup quickly fizzled. --- AP reporter Vladimir Isachenkov in Moscow contributed to this report. Okay, report says this lovable drunk bear was taken from his home at a local resort....who took bear from there with out anyone noticing? Was the bear ill in any way that some one from the resort thought that maybe it would be kinder to get the bear drunk and shoot it than let it suffer a long lingering illness? And if the two world leaders had been hunting it would have made news (at least over there)...they can not place Putin there let alone King Juan Carlos. This sounds like a local prank or mercy killing and someone is trying to escape by making the King a scapegoat. 0 Comments

Man Fires Crossbow at Motorist Oct 17, 2006 6:15 pm 720 Views Tuesday, October 17, 2006 LITTLE ROCK - A Little Rock man whose SUV was cut off in traffic was arrested after he allegedly shot at a motorist with a crossbow following a brief chase. "It was a drive-by crossbow shooting," said Steve Gilgenbach, a pitcher for the University of Arkansas at Little Rock baseball team who said he was the man's intended target. "I've never been shot at by a crossbow before." Wayne Allen Dierks Jr., 26, posted bail after his arrest Sunday on charges of committing a terroristic act, possession of an instrument of crime, driving while intoxicated and driving on a suspended driver's license. Committing a terroristic act is a felony; the other charges are misdemeanors. An arraignment was set for Oct. 25. Gilgenbach acknowledged cutting in front of Dierks on Interstate 630 in midtown Little Rock. "I was merging on the highway and I had to get in, so I cut the guy off," Gilgenbach said. "He started following me, cursing at me and yelling for me to pull over." A police report said Gilgenbach admitted to police that he made an obscene gesture toward Dierks, but he said Monday he didn't remember doing so. Archery-crossbow hunting seasons for deer, bear and turkey began Oct. 1 so it's not extraordinary that someone might be carrying a crossbow in their vehicle this time of year. The pursuit continued for several miles over the interstate and a city street. As the cars approached an intersection, "all of the sudden, he comes up next to me and shoots a crossbow at my car," Gilgenbach said. "It ricocheted off the back window, which shattered." Gilgenbach called 911 and followed Dierks until the police arrived. "I circled around and got behind him, but he pulled into a parking lot and aimed the crossbow at me again," Gilgenbach said. After Dierks' arrest, officers found a crossbow with a scope, four crossbow bolts and a cooler containing 11 unopened beers and one opened can. Dierks registered 0.12 on a blood-alcohol test. The legal threshold is 0.08. Gilgenbach said it will cost $400 to replace his rear window. --- Information from: Arkansas Democrat-Gazette 0 Comments

Turkey Testicle Festival Can Keep Name Oct 17, 2006 6:12 pm 729 Views Tuesday, October 17, 2006 FORT MYERS BEACH, Fla. - Organizers of fourth annual Turkey Testicle Festival can keep their name, despite concerns about the propriety of the word and the island's virtue. The Fort Myers Beach Council voted 4-1 Monday to allow the Surf Club bar to use the Turkey Testicle Festival name after a laugh-out-loud discussion, according to the News-Press. Councilman Charles Meador said this year's festival will the fourth annual, and went on to list more than 12 other cities that host annual events with the name "testicle." "Who cares what the name is," Mayor Dennis Boback said. "Money is going for a worthy cause." The festival has raised about $3,000 for the Harry Chapin Food Bank in each of its past three years. A change in policy that requires the town council to approve special events brought the issue of the name to the table two weeks ago. Councilmen Bill Shenko and Garr Reynolds had said the name is inappropriate for a family island. They asked that the word testicle be removed from the name and all advertising. Shenko reversed his position Monday and supported the name. Reynolds continued his opposition. "We do have youngsters here," Reynolds said. "We're trying to uplift their thinking." 0 Comments

Measure 7 Oct 16, 2006 11:52 pm 730 Views This may make me unpopular with some people, but oh well...I am not here to be popular. I want to talk about Measure 7, on the ballot this election here in the USA. This would legalize and regulate marijuana like alcohol. For the record not everyone who smokes pot goes on to harder man made drugs. Hell, some people who do harder drugs have never smoked pot. There are medical benefits to marijuana. Those with glaucoma, AIDS, cancer, even PMS and menopause may not be cured by pot but it eases the pain, and those with AIDS and cancer can eat and keep food down. I hear you...under age kids buying or getting older people to buy for them. DUI....but you know what? It happens with alcohol and cigarettes. And hefty fines are in place. So it would be marijuana. I urge those of you registered to vote to vote YES on this measure. 0 Comments

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