Jesus Christ!! I really have ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder)!!!!!!!!!!
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I took some kinda quiz a few minutes ago as I couldn't sleep yet. The quiz was titled 'What mental disorder do you have?" The results was "ADD (Attention deficit disorder)" I was so shocked as : 1st : My worst fear was being confirmed. I really have ADD. 2nd : The quiz was so so so so so accurate that it sent shivers down my spine!!!!!!!!!!!! I gasped and went 'SHIT'! and just sat down sitting infront of my notebook, reading it over and over again. Here are the results: You have a very hard time focusing, and you find it difficult to stay on task without your mind wandering. You probably zone in and out of conversations and tend to miss out on directions because you cannot focus. JESUS CHRIST! All these while I have been suspected by my co-workers and myself as well that I have ADD and I guess this simple quiz really prove it. -I'm always hyperactive and can't focus /pay attention to someone for long. -I get frustrated when others require attention from me. -I'm not able to chat with someone for more than 1 hour. Some of the questions and my answers : 11. One of your faults would be - not paying attention well enough 15. You are afraid of commitment - true ( I have no idea how many times I have told others that I'm afraid of being tied down by commitments) 16. You feel extremely hyper somedays to the point where you almost drive yourself crazy - true (TOTALLY ME. Sometimes I feel so hyper as if I'm on drugs. I do really drastic things when I'm hyper) 18. You miss out on events because always seem to zone out when people are talking to you - true (Totally true! I can't pay attention to conversation and my mind will wonder somewhere else) 19. You have urges to touch things, and if you dont you get extremely anxious - true (Does whacking someone when I'm hyper considered as "touching things"?) If you wanna take this simple quiz for yourself,try googling and search for "gotoquiz" |
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2/15/2009 11:51 pm |
8 hours, woah! That's really long. Both of you must be really patient. Why did she refuse to divorce you? trying to make u guilt stricken? It must be a torture for u.  what u see in me is what u are .
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2/15/2009 11:48 pm |
8 hours, woah! That's really long. Both of you must be really patient. Why did she refuse to divorce you? trying to make u guilt stricken? It must be a torture for u. It is very diffucult to understand a woman's mind. Seems she did it for the sake of our daughter.She is a traditional Indian woman and she might have thought that it would not be in the interests of our daughter. I regret delay in replying you as i am on a tour to my college (3000 km far from my home ) to refresh my memories.I am going there after 17 yrs now. what u see in me is what u are .
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2/14/2009 1:16 pm |
What did you say ? I was not paying attention .... KORN 
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2/11/2009 4:30 am |
Buncha: Thank you =D
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2/11/2009 4:22 am |
8 hours, woah! That's really long. Both of you must be really patient. Why did she refuse to divorce you? trying to make u guilt stricken? It must be a torture for u.
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2/10/2009 11:31 pm |
well-whatever you say you have i still like you just for you. you still make me smile and i still enjoy your blog postings. thanks you! buncha
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2/10/2009 2:23 am |
Brainteaser: Thanks for sharing. But you didn't include the part about how you cope with it,brave on and managed to survive it. Till now your achievement, writing those pieces and getin' married with a daughter. We would all love to hear it U are the first person with whom i have shared all this. I may leave KFF shortly. Blessings bt what u see in me is what u are .
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2/10/2009 2:19 am |
Brainteaser: Thanks for sharing. But you didn't include the part about how you cope with it,brave on and managed to survive it. Till now your achievement, writing those pieces and getin' married with a daughter. We would all love to hear it “ The Brainteaser ” – A heartening true life story – The Masterpiece Chapter no 10 – His Love Story ( short form account ) – not the masterpiece version He first meets her at her college ( Luthra Academy ) where she is a Teacher a highly qualified , reputed and a brilliant teacher.She is the daughter of his father’s childhood friend.He wants to meet her to help him get a job for his elder sister in the same college. It is here that he sees her for the first time.A tall graceful young lady with an exquisite figure.She greets him with a smile but very politely refuses to entertain him as it is not allowed to entertain personal guests in the academy.He requests her and tells her that he has to speak her for just 10 minutes.She is a conservative and a traditional Indian lady.She agrees to meet him but for 5 minutes only outside the academy. She accompanies him to a nearby restaurant ( rachna restaurant ).He orders coffee and both start talking.And they keep talking continuously for 8 hours till the restaurant is closed.He drops her to her home and they decide to go walking rather than board a mini-bus so that they get some more time to talk.And its here that an otherwise very shy brainteaser proposes her on the very first day of their meeting.He tells her that he loves her and he dosen’t want to loose her ever.And she responds with a modest smile. Now from here starts the ‘ true love ’ story ; an intense and an unparalled love story.In the days that follow as she slowly starts knowing and understanding the brainteaser.She starts liking each and every quality and virtues in him.When she walks in a crowded market he steps in front of her like a bodyguard to make way for her.When she walks on the road he never allows her to walk on the inner side of the road.He always makes sure that she walks on the outer edge of the road and he himself walks on the inner edge for the sake of her safety.He rebukes her loudly in front of everyone when he notes her crossing the road negligently.When he takes her to a restaurant he always makes her face the wall so that noone else looks at her except him.He is very possessive about her.She always makes him to wait for every meeting for about an hour and the brainteaser keeps waiting impatiently till he sees his ‘ dreamgirl’ appear.And his eyes shine at her sight. Finally he steals her heart and she never gets it back again ; perhaps not even today ; when she refuses to accept him as a husband. The usually go to a very beautiful park ( bag e bahu ) on a hill slope with all the fountains and umbrella trees.The have a fixed spot , the most remote and secluded tree under which they sit together for hours.Her hands are very delicate and soft like silk.And the brainteaser finds a heavely pleasure lying down with his head in her loveful lap ;- her silky hands caressing his head and hairy chest.They sit there for hours together till the park closes for visitors. They always have an intense desire to hug each other tightly.She is very religious and conservative and refuses to hug in the passage behind the tample.She feels that this is unreligious and a sin.The brainteaser very confidently tells her that ther love is true and pure.As true and as pure as The God himself and therefore its definitely no sin.So they hug and then they hug almost daily in the back passage of temple/s.Brainteaser loves to feel the warmth of her silky body and the lovebeats of her heart. She is very conservative and strict but one day she leaves brainteaser stunned and blessed when she allows him to kiss her lips ; a deep and an intense frenchkiss.Their first blissful kiss in life. This goes on for two long years.Both the ‘ true lovers’ have already accepted each other as a husband and a wife and marriage is just a pending social sanction.In the meantime brainteaser looses 4 successive jobs but he is unable to relate this to his illness as his illness gets correctly diagnosed at the age of 29 only.He has no money now.Whatever money he has earned he has given to his father for repayment of his loans and for his engagement. He decides to appear for the engineering services exam and starts studies again but he fails to make it as he is unable to concentrate and devote his time to studies cos he is deeply in Love with his ‘dreamgirl’.During this period all he can see / think / eat /drink is her only.They are meeting almost 3ice a week and the rest of the week days they are writing love letters to each other , almost daily , using brainteaser’s younger sister as a ‘ courier’. So all the bills of the restaurants , taxi bills etc are paid by his fiancée (as they have been engaged now).She thinks this is a very temporary phase in her lovers life who is a record-breaking university topper of the prestigious National Institute of Technology ; the best engineering institution in India.And so thinks the brainteaser though he is definitely breainteased that why this is happening to him even when his performance at jobs is also outstanding. After some time they finally marry to be a ‘made for each other couple’. In the days to come the brainteaser starts loosing one job after another ( despite outstanding performance ).All jobs with coveted companies like the ‘Enron Corpn’, US multinational ‘ Bechtel’, ‘Dywidag’ ( German MNC ) , ‘General Electric’, and an endless list.All going down the drain one after the another.He keeps trying repeatedly but he keeps failing ( despite outstanding performance ).All due to the symptoms of his mental illness which was yet to be diagnosed correctly. Result he is never able to take responsibility.He is never able to be a responsible father / husband / son who can look after his families.He continues to survive on the ‘ doles ’ from his wife.He fails to provide them even the basic amenities of food , shelter , clothing causing grave chaos and hardships to the whole family.His wife’s and his parents social status and self esteem is shattered.Throught he is ‘ brain teased ’ why this is happening to him. Time keeps passing and brainteaser continues to survive on his wifes ‘ doles ‘.He is 30 now.Eight years have passed since he passed out from his college.He now knows the cause of his suffering and its symptoms.He now knows the cause of his suffering and he now knows that his illness is incurable.He now knows that he was medically ‘ unfit ‘ for marriage.The dam of his patience gives way and he becomes a ‘ monster ‘ – a truly ugly monster. He sees the Police , the handcuff , the lockup , the court , the lawyer , the butts and the boots , human indignation and humiliation in its worst forms.He sees the violence , the blood , the loud cries all so shameful that even shame would be ashamed.A truly ugly monster – a brainteaser – all helplessly. His wife charges the family of deception by hiding his illness b4 marriage.She thinks that there was a secret meeting between his father and the doctor in the asylum and that his parents were already aware that this was going to happen to him and that this was kept a secret from the brainteaser also. Henceforth she stops accepting brainteaser as her husband and she ever ever again accepts him as her husband. Brainteaser realizes that his marriage was a biggest blunder of his life ; an unforgible sin ; though unntentional.Brainteaser has not deceived her.He loves her nore than his life – even today.How can he ? However he argues with her that since this marriage is a marriage based on deception it is not a marriage at all. He pleads and presses upon his wife to divorce him and remarry. She does not remarry but she does not accept his as a husband either – NEVER , NEVER EVER. *************************************************************************** what u see in me is what u are .
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2/9/2009 8:59 am |
Brainteaser: Thanks for sharing. But you didn't include the part about how you cope with it,brave on and managed to survive it. Till now your achievement, writing those pieces and getin' married with a daughter. We would all love to hear it After 3 months in the asylum , the brainteaser is discharged.His father refuses to give 'shock treatment' to his son.He cures with medication only.He becomes completely normal.He is appointed as an engineer and he gets a job in a reputed company.He does his job well and is perfectly normal. This illness is very diffucult to diagnose and is diagnosed at the age of 29 only.When he is dischagred from the hospital he thinks that this was a one time nightmare and was over forever. Now starts a true and an intense love story with a teacher which ends in the marriage of a made for each other couple. Immediately after the start of the love story he looses 4 jobs in a row but he is unable to relate it to the symptoms of his illness. For the first year the symptoms are there but their love survives the heat.But as the brainteaser fails to perform , deliver like a responsible husband who takes care of his wife and child his state of mind worsens day to day till he finally becomes an ugly moster and a person whom his wife never accepts as a husband - never ever. He does not become a monster all of a sudden after release from the asylum.It is over a period of several affiars when despite repeated attempts to become a responsible husband fail that he slowly becomes a monster.And he fails to perform / deliver due to the symptoms of his illness.He becomes a monster at the age of 30 and continues to be so till the age of 35 till he is rescued by god. It is only at the age of 29 that he comes to know that he is suffering from an incurable illness which would last for his whole life.Now his wife thinks that she has been cheated as she is not aware of this illness at the time of her marriage. Brainteaser realises that his marriage is a biggest blunder and an unforgible sin ; though inintentionally.He pleads to his wife to divorce him and remarry.But she dosent and she dosent accept him as a husband also. It will all be clear when i write the whole masterpiece. what u see in me is what u are .
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2/8/2009 3:22 pm |
Brainteaser: Thanks for sharing. But you didn't include the part about how you cope with it,brave on and managed to survive it. Till now your achievement, writing those pieces and getin' married with a daughter. We would all love to hear it
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2/8/2009 8:14 am |
No wonder how many times i have cried , how many times i have wiped my eyes and my face and how many times i broke down as i wrote these few pages. But its good i shared this with someone like u. Thanks. Take care what u see in me is what u are .
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2/8/2009 7:36 am |
For u i am posting the post here.And wish that God Forbid it never reapeats with another innocent teenager who left his home to pursue his dreams. “ THE BRAINTEASER ’’ – A HEARTENING TRUE LIFE STORY – A MASTERPIECE OM SHANTI ( remembering my god ) This is the ‘real life story’ of a boy from the beautiful valley of ‘Kashmir’ ; in the lap of the Himalayan mountain ranges.The boy belongs to a ‘poor family’ but he is an outstanding student.Though poor , his parents have groomed him to be virtuous and imbibe all the virtues of a ‘ true human soul ’. Throughout the ‘ boy ’ has been a ‘darling’ of his teachers to the extent of being their pride.His teachers always have great expectations from him.His cute , radiant face, his dashing himalayan personality and his confidence represent the true joy of life. He stands up to the expectations of his parents and teachers. He wins a ‘ coveted scholarship ’ and all his educational expenses shall be borne by the Govt.Even the books shall be provided free of cost.But even then it is a ‘ real challenge’ for his father to bear his ‘ mess bills ’ , ‘ monthly expenses’ etc ( about 12 $ per month those days in 1988 ). Finally the boy leaves his home ; as an innocent teenager ; to a place very very far of from his home to pursue his aspirations. This is the first time in his life he has boarded a train.He is so excited ; so happy.His mother is so worried how her son will manage himself without her.She keeps reminding him how to eat , how to drink , and also how to walk on road.The train starts and his parents keep following the moving train , waving at him till they loose sight of him.Perhaps unaware that this was the last time they were going to ‘ see him ’. In the college the boy notices unusual changes in him , unuaual things happening to him.He notices unusual changes in his behavior and actions.Actions that were totally unwarranted of his inner values and virtues that his parents had groomed into him.His grades ( marks ) also start declining sharply.His grades are the lowest in the class now but even then he continues to be a darling of his teachers and the ‘ brightest student ’ in the class. The boy is in final year BE now and he is written the final year exam.He is waiting for his results to be announced and he is about to graduate from the coveted ‘National Institute of Technology ’- Tiruchirapalli ; to which only the best among the best can make to.All the efforts , hopes , dreams of his parents , grand parents , family are to be realized shortly. Suddenly his parents receive an emergency message from the college that their son is ‘seriously ill’ and has been hospitalized.His mother sells her gold bangles to have a ‘glimpse’ of the ‘piece of her heart’ ; to finally see their 22 yr old son ‘handcuffed’, ‘chained’ , ‘ tied to a bed’ in a mental asylum/hospital. The son who had successfully managed to hide his illness from his parents , for the past four years. All their massive investment of years going ‘down the drain’ in a single blow from the nature. Shocked to see her son’s condition , the ‘mother’s heart’ tears apart and a helpless lay mother starts rubbing coconut oil on his head and body thinking that it would cure him.She stops as they are greeted by Mr. B S Arora , Mr. S K Jha and Mr. John Fairley ; the regular toppers of the ‘deemed university’.They come with a message from the HOD , Dr K A Kuppuswamy that the final year results have been declared and this year it is their son who has topped the exams of the ‘ deemed university ’.Not only that his grades/ marks are ‘way ahead’ of rank 2 and rank 3.The HOD sends a message to the boy that ‘ finally he has proved himself ’. Wonder who had proved himself the boy or the HOD himself. The boy can hardy understand the message.All he can see is ‘dellusionary demons’.All he can hear is ‘ demonic hallucinations’.The boy is terrified to the ‘ spine ’. He is not witnessing it , he is rather living a live Nightmare. His parents go to his room in the hostel and they notice that it does not have a lock.All they see there is a cot , a table , a chair , books and a pile of letters.Letters which he had received from his parents , grandparents , family for the past four years ; each of them kept with reverence like a 'holy book'. The letters of love , of expectations , of hopes of family in their son. Finally the boy grows up further to loose his parents as well as his ‘ true love’ – all helplessly.And he grows up to become a ‘real life social villian’.He sees the Police , the handcuff , the lockup , the court , the lawyer , the butts and the boots , human indignation and humiliation in its worst forms.He sees the violence , the blood , the loud cries all so shameful that even shame would be ashamed.A truly ugly monster – a brainteaser – all helplessly. Something very painful for him and his parents , something they could have never imagined would ever happen to their son when he left his home for the first time as an innocent teenager to pursue his dreams and aspirations. It took them time but finally they too realized and reconciled with the ‘ bitter reality’ that the last time they had seen ‘their son’ was the time when they waved him off in the train , the last time they told him how to eat , how to drink and how to walk on the road , the time when he left his home for the first time to pursue his dreams and aspirations.That ‘ their son’ was dead the same day. His life finally reaches a dead end.He witnesses human indignation and humiliation in its worst forms.He looses his self esteem and dignity completely as if it never existed.The game was over.But that was not the end.God sees the truth but waits.God ‘ himself ’ comes to his rescue.He does not set him free but he gives him the ‘power’ to defy his own lays and fly high.And he gives him a ‘ golden pen’ ; a divine golden pen with gods signatures on it – to write the masterpiece – ‘The Brainteaser’. The boy , now a man has a mission in front of him.To write ‘ The masterpice’ -‘ The Brainteaser ’ ; to represent the many others like him; the ‘unsung heroes’ in the mental asylums.He feels that if his efforts shall get even a single additional drop of love / understanding for the people in ‘ mental asylums’ his mission is successful. I wish to be as honest and as true as possible in this masterpiece.I do not wish to sensationalize / exagirate anything. The copyrights shall surely be there.But it shall be ‘free copyrights’.I wish as many people as possible to read this.This is not for individual achievement , this is not for money , this is just for a single drop of love and understanding for the ones like me.For the ‘unsung heroes’ in the mental asylums. This is not easy. Writing this masterpiece is a ‘mammoth task.’.This introduction / foreword was the first brick towards the writing of ‘ The Masterpiece’. I chose to write this here because someone who is a ‘ teacher’ found his/her instincts warning him/her against me.Due to my past background with teachers this is ‘ very unusual’ for me. OM SHANTI ( remembering my god ) ***************************************** what u see in me is what u are .
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2/7/2009 6:26 am |
Brainteaser: I'm looking forward to the post. It might be a good source. I think I'm fine. Just a lil surprised that the result from that test was 'ADD' instead of 'paranoria'. I think I'm normal, no signs of abnormality. Even if I have ADD, I think I can still survive with it, without it interfering with my life much. God bless you~
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2/7/2009 1:20 am |
Clover ; In u i see my reflection when i was 18 years old.I was exactly like u cute , innocent dew ; representing the joy of life.But slowly it all changed. I have a lot of experience in these matters due to being a severe victim myself. My experience tells me that u cant reach a concusion based on a mere google quiz unless a doctor examines and concludes so. 70 % of the people are suffering from disorders of one type or other and most even fail to recognize that they have a disorder. But if u feel u really have a problem u must inform ur parents immediately. I see my youth as a tennager in you and i also see someone like my child in you and i wish that everything is fine with you. In my comming blogs i shall depict how i lost my true tove due to bipolar mood disorder.Keep watch - its so different , so inetersting and yet so painful. U always have my good wishes to protect u from all evils. what u see in me is what u are .
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