Time heals and move on? I hate these advices...
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I hate it when people asked me to forget him and tell me that time heals. Because it obviously don't.. If time heals everything, I wouldn't be struggling so hard with insomnia every night. I won't have to fight my stubborn mind from recalling him. I won't have to figure out why I cried when I started thinking of him and missing him. I won't have to tire out my body by being hyperactive so that when night time comes, my weary body will just give in and allow me to sleep.Instead of staying up the whole night in bed letting the scenes replay over and over again. I hate it when people tells me that there are other guys around. I'm cleary aware of that but they ain't him. I could have date any guys but I know beforehand that the feeling ain't right. I don't wanna allow someone else in my brains and heart. He is an unique individual that no matter how similar how behaves or looks like him, I still know what is missing; his aura. Those memories ; the way he looked into my eyes, the way he showed concern, the way he talked affectionately about his girlfriend,the way he tries to act so cool,the way how he shows his true feelings. Everything that he does, no one can forge it. No one can take over him. No one can be him. That is the reason why I persisted even tho I knew from the start that it's useless. |
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1/31/2009 12:40 am |
Superhappy: Nod nod. Maybe I should, but it's tiring having to adjust yourself to a new lifestyle and accomodate the other party. Thus, I think I'm gonna stay single till someone who has the same charissma pops by. 
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1/30/2009 4:08 pm |
You know... Accept my simple advice: Start dating another guy! This won't put an end on our suffering, but you're going to get more relaxed and besides this simple action can make him come back to you. If he doesn't come back, patience! But at least you're not so alone!
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1/30/2009 9:39 am |
Korn: I can see that you are a coffee addict as well. Same here =D. Comfort food does help a lil. Chocolates~ Hot chocolate. hmm...
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1/30/2009 9:36 am |
Slumdog: Haha. Thank you, even though I have no idea how korean rabbit looks like. LMAO!
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1/30/2009 3:59 am |
u look cute like a korean rabbit. Huggs 
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1/29/2009 11:23 pm |
As long as I have coffee ! I'M OK !  KORN 
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1/28/2009 10:00 am |
HiFi: You should ought to post up this experience in your blog. I think you experienced much more disappointment than me. You were right. Morally maybe yes but emotionally definitely no. It's hard to refrain yourself even though you know you shouldn't be doing all these. Maybe you did made the right choice afterall. Learnt something from the hard way. It might be pain but at least you come to realise the truth. Yes, true. I'm still very young. I'm gonna cherish every moment, everyone in my life. =D
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1/28/2009 2:17 am |
I just read your blog Clover and remarkably I have been going through the same ordeal. Those feelings don't change either, no matter how old you are, and as I was reminded, and in which you will discover. You see, It had been 20 years since my divorce which I took very hard emotionally. During those 20 years I hadn't met a person that Rang the Bell of my heart and mind. The first 5 years of course were the worst for me, but after that, I just didn't give a crap about anyone for 15. It's like, if you don't feel what you previously felt...What's the point in hanging around after two dates. However, this past mid-summer I was struck by lightning again...And it was from the moment our eyes met. Scared the living shit out of me in a flat second...I knew I was in trouble...Like BANG!!!......ZOOM!!! through my heart. I was just leaving the area where I worked as a supervisor at an Atlantic City Casino. I was going on a half hour break when this happened. I could feel my insides quiver as if I had just come face to face with a Mack Truck. She was a customer on a Blackjack Game, and I was leaving hoping she would be there on my return, and at the same time hoping she wouldn't. Of course, she was there on my return, and I was soooooooo rocked by her presence and aura. It took me 20 minutes to pull myself together professionally and walk over to welcome her to the Casino and introduce myself. From then on it was like I went to heaven. I could read her eyes as they went through me, and I knew instantly how she felt. I didn't have to ask her. It was magnetic. We were together as much as possible for six passionate and glorious weeks, when all of a sudden she dropped the bomb. She was married (Unhappily, and planning to divorce) and her husband was overseas on business, and returning in a few days. Not once was there a Phone Call to make me suspect anything. She professed her love for me and I for her. During this time, I was planning relocation to a new job where I now reside. We continued to see each other after his return, but very soon the turmoil of guilt began to bother me, even though she promised to join me after I was settled. I left New Jersey on October 11 and arrived in Florida with a Trailor-in-Tow early on the 14th. She called me during my entire trek. We would talk off and on while I was driving down, and up to a few days after I landed here when she could. Well, then they stopped along with my heart. I became upset, I tried calling and leaving messages on her cell...None of which have been returned, and one of which WAS A HANG-UP, and no surprise knock on my door. Yes, I am traumatized over her. Lost,Lonely,and Depressed not knowing anything...I love her, I miss her. BUT BOTTOM LINE IS...SHE'S MARRIED...and I'm just a victim. Is there anything I could have done to change this outcome?? NOT REALLY. WOULD I FEEL ANY BETTER NOW IF I HAD LEFT HER WHEN SHE TOLD ME SHE WAS MARRIED??...Emotionally, I doubt it. Morally, Maybe. Anyway Clover...I feel your pain, but you are 18, and if you don't meet someone early on and live happily ever after; You can count on a whole lot more going on in your sweet future. Start counting all of your lucky stars. You have soooo much time on your side. Make the most of it. As for myself...Just another chapter in my journey of life. Understand, that these things happen all the time, EVERY MOMENT of EVERYDAY, and in every part of the world. HAVE PEACE BABY and welcome to "The Human Condition" ........Kenny (HIFI9217)
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1/28/2009 12:23 am |
Two2tangoo: yes, same sentiments here. I hope so. God will bless me. Thanks for your encouragement =)
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1/27/2009 11:23 pm |
isn't "life" cruel??...then again, you seem to know something even at your young age...as denoted by your last sentence.....reasons and logic makes strange bedfellows when it comes to love  this is certain. "we" grow, not only by wisdom and happiness....but with sadness, pain and anguish as well. it is this "duality" that which makes us humans.....umm, umm, ok..anyway.... in time, your suffering, insomnia, tiredness, lack of appetite will slowly fade....and perhaps??, who knows?? TIME will "deliver" him
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1/27/2009 9:57 am |
Other than 'Thank you' , I can think of nothing else to say.Thanks dude =D
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1/27/2009 3:26 am |
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1/26/2009 1:40 pm |
No advice for you here... Guys would feel the same way. Talking about his girlfriend was a terrible thing to do! NOT "cool"! It is normal to feel the way that you do, for some time. So go ahead and hate the advice, and go ahead and cry. You have a bright future ahead you. This guy will some day look back and ask himself, what did I let her go for?
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