I will try!  

3/13/2007 3:09 pm Last Read: 3/16/2007 10:36 pm	I went to talk to my favorite prof today; I need some direction, feeling lost. I told him that I really don't like pharmacy and I wanna switch to something that I am interested in,such as acturiral sciences. He said go for it. That was really encouraging; however doesn't help a lot. I know no matter how many people I ask for help it will be the same. If I cannot cheer up and walk through this myself, no one could do anything else to help. I feel I am such a chicken; I worry too much and never actually had enough confidient. I cry a lot at night;l but I have never let anyone known. All my friends said I am such a cheerful and funny person to be with; I tried to hide all my sadness and fear behind. I understand the how crule it could be. I am scared even to move one step forward. Since I left home 5 years ago,I knew there was no backups for me already. I have been depressed and stressed for a while. He asked me if I ever wanna go back Japan or states to see my parents. I said no. I miss them so much but I am afraid to go. My mum has put so much expectation on me that I cannot handle any more but I cannot tell her cuz we have never actually had a close relationship. I am always a good ans sweet girl in her heart. I don't and will never tell her what had happened to me. i stood up by my own 7 years ago. I hope i could still be strong. Life is tough for me; it is for everyone, isn't it?
8346star 14 posts  3/13/2007 9:33 pm	True.. Dr. Michael Newton wrote that Earth is the most harsh training place in universe. Take care for yourself!~
sixpack 918 posts  3/15/2007 3:11 am	Well I would recomment try listening or read this title "I can do it" by Louise L. Hay. Its help lots of woman on thier jouney in life..
cutetokki Ask me for a photo 10 posts  3/16/2007 1:10 pm	take a step at a time find happiness in sorrow see the beauty in uglyness trust in ur God and make rule for ur self u can never be lost or feel the harshness in life