I don't understand
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1/25/2007 5:03 pmLast Read: |
I have been thinking if I should really write this down; but I finally did so.I guess I still wanna cross fingures on this, hoping that somehow at some pint he would give me a call or send me an email. First time met him, I was just playing and so did he. It was funny how I had gone so far that cannot even stop. I got really scared when I left that city; I had this uncertain feeling; I knew something was gonna happen. However I never knew that was the last time we seen each other. After I got back Canada, both of us had been calling each other; I thought he was for real; I was really happy about it. I even thought that might just be it since he purposed. I told myself we might just get married. till now I cannot forget all the fantacies. It was the sweetest time ever in my life. However all the dreams turn into ashes after he returned to UK. emmm, I don't know and I don't understand waht happened. I understand that he works for the Royal Navy and supposed to be busy but I always believed that if you care about that person you will make time for her. My mum told me to stop being stupid he probably wouldn't be back anymore. I struggled a lot and did not want to believe that is true, because I love him and he is the first guy that I loved. I waited and waited , day after day. I called him but he was not answering the phone. I told myself well he might just be busy. However i really came to a breakdown last week. I called again and he phone was out of serivce. I guess that was really the end. I held the phone, standing for 5 mins,not knowing what to do. I was really lost. I had gone too far. I had gone too far. I thought I would just be ok cuz he was just a guy and I shouldn't be wasting my time. Seriously I tried to work and focus on school so that I wouldn't get too lonely and sad. I failed totally. hehe, I feel laughing at myself. I have never been such a loser before. My favourite song is 'Through the rain'. I have been listening again and agian. I know I really need to break away and I really have to walk through the rain and stad up again by myself... |
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1/25/2007 6:33 pm |
He probibly shacked up with another man after he met you. Get over it.
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1/25/2007 7:04 pm |
I cannot but feel a profound sense of shame for foreigners who visit another country and leave a path of heartache and regret in their wake. It makes me wonder just what kind of a person can play with someone's emotions with so little regard for how his or her indifference can literally ruin a young life. Does the fact that you are not from their country somehow make your tears less significant in their small minds? Do they regard you as less human or less civilized because you do not speak the same language? Alternatively, perhaps he was not the person you thought he was. Perhaps he visited you country with the intention of acquiring a plaything to be discarded when his tour ended. Nevertheless, time after time, I have heard this same story and I would like to say something to all people who visit other countries: BE A GOOD GUEST TO YOUR HOSTS! Please respect their traditions and their feelings. Do not lie about your motives to get what you want you losers. Treat them, as you would like to be treated! Moreover, to you Angel, if he truly loved you, he would never have abandoned you. The sooner you forget him, the sooner you can get on with the business of living. Sometimes men lie and I am sorry it had to happen to you. I hope that you have learned from this experience.
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1/26/2007 12:15 am |
Parandol, I had to say something because you said something very important. When I was in korea, one of friend was dating with foreigner and that time it was very rare. She had very bad experience with him. And yes, She couldn't recover that experience for so long time. I just remembered her with this blog and your comment.. I wonder what she became... It's so true about the respect you are saying here.. In any country, yes, we must be good. I feel that everywhere I go...Some ppl mess up all the images of their country. Even it's not true of all but it can goes so far to judge the country at the end..How many times I heard negative about korea here in france..It's probably from same cause.."No respect". Thanks for the remind and important comment.  Angel, I'm sorry that you have to go through the tough time. But I feel the strengh in you. I feel you are not a weak person. It's hard with each heart break. I know.. But we learn and also becomming more strong and reasnable for the next step. I believe that when we hurt people, it turns back to us. I never had a doubt about it. You did your best at the moment and you know the result at least. So you won't live in wonder. He ran away and it sounds like he is a great avoider. But he doesn't see that in avoiding you, he is avoiding himself too. He wouldn't sleep in peace because he'll have exactly same experiences one day that he gave to you or his around. and he will regret and wonder " why..". But he won't know the answer because he never tried to affront his life path that he must go through. I don't know my words give you some meanning or not for a moment. But like here friends said, with time..it'll be ok. And you'll be strong and nice woman who knows and feel the heart of people. Your angel is always protecting you. sweet hugs. CouCou.
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1/26/2007 12:35 am |
Hi Angel I am so sad when after saw ur blog.., sometimes i think luv was like a chess and my position was jst like a least valuable piece in the game of chess.. I wanna try to be a queen in the chess game ...I wanna play game right now ehhhh but at last I donno is tat me be come a queen or pawn ..but i no i always be a looser in tis luv category  , Angel hope u already ok now... God bless u..^^ n take care, I believe u can find your true soulmate ..luv u n care about u..
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1/26/2007 4:39 pm |
Long distance relationships are always the most difficult, and I'm sorry yours didn't work out. Go out, and do some fun things, and think about the good things in life. Best of luck.
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1/26/2007 6:08 pm |
I'm sorry to hear about that....humans are dumber than slugs......it's clear (to me) that he does not care.....move on, millions of miles away from this man........it's not worth it.....and also, you can get any man in this universe, so i would not worry too much.
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1/26/2007 7:08 pm |
Angel, get over this dude. If he was interested in keeping in touch with you, he would be in touch with you. The fact that he disappeared from the face of the earth, forget about him and move on.
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