melancholy
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I never had anything. I do not expect anything. I live my life in a mundane place, looking inward and contracting to within myself. I should see life as nothing at all, working everyday and earning money to pay for my very existence. I am loved, no doubt, but my love is reserved. My heart is hollow and empty. It is a deep place to hide from all things unpleasant and crawl within to a nourishing place. Do I exist even? I know I exist meagerly. Keep to myself, burn a hole in my age ruler and snuff it out when appropriate. I gave and I gave, but never do I recall receiving as much I gave. And I will give and give, and will expect nothing because I can live on nothing at all. Do I deserve happiness? I don’t think anyone deserves anything. You are given what you have, and so you have what you have and you use what you have. It is the nature of things. | ||
2/14/2009 7:57 am |
wow.. I don't recall ever reading anything you have written this sad. In the chat room you always seem to be so happy. Something has happened? Hope things will get better. And yes everyone deserves to be happy, well maybe not thieves, muderers, etc. But everyone that has a good heart and cares about others, they truely deserve to be happy.... and I think so do you.
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2/15/2009 6:04 am |
melancholy is not a correct describtion. Bottle in the sea, it may is. in giving is your take. recieving is creating. Expecting has now meaning. Love giving is your choice, your way, your need. You recieve in giving, not in taking back. Hug the world you dislike, you made this world, you created it. Love yourself in loving your world. Smell the sea brise.
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2/19/2009 3:30 pm |
I'm sorry you felt so sad. I empathize.
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 2/23/2009 1:06 pm |
Sounds plainly like mid-life crisis to me, acon. Chins up! 
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2/28/2009 1:49 pm |
Yes, you have. You did. You will. And finally, yes, you are. As I am. Yes. 
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2/28/2009 2:55 pm |
Hey thanks 1004, tcb, cyber, emph, and fawn - Thanks. I think I am at a mid-life crisis. Also, with the economic downturn, I look now more at the real things in life. It drives me to feel the sad side of life, which also weights me down considerably with all of my emotional and financial obligations.
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